Last night was my last night nursing my son. I am so sad right now. This is normally the time I would be nursing him, then he goes to bed around 8. I've came into the room to be out of sight, out of mind hopefully. Hubby is taking over the bedtime routine until Baby is used to not getting it at night. It's gonna be a long week.
Overall breastfeeding him has been easy. He latched on as soon as they gave him to me in the hospital. I'll never forget that little head bobbing around looking for its nipple, and soon as he found it he was going to town!!
We never had any issues with his latch, or him refusing. The only issue ever was with me, I was harder on myself than needed to be. Every woman goes through the doubt stage. Wondering if you will produce enough milk for the baby. If you can keep up with the demanding cries of a breastfed baby every 2 hrs, all day, every day. I remember one night he was probably a month old, I had my Boppy pillow, he was nursing, I rested my head back on the headboard, and I passed out. Next thing I knew I was waking up in that position and he was still latched on, asleep. Who knows how much time had passed. So glad he wasn't rolling around yet!! I was exhausted to say the least.
I was so sure I wasn't going to produce enough milk, mainly because of the bottles & bottles, bags & bags of milk I seen stock pile pictures of online. That made me feel so inferior, especially when in the beginning if I pumped I'd get 0.5oz or 1oz. These women were producing 8oz & more each pumping session. I never leaked. Was barely engorged. So, I drank teas and hunted down lactation cookie recipes. Also poured flax seed all up on my steel cut oatmeal. Looking back now it's almost comical. Why do we as women doubt ourselves so much?
I was able to exclusively breastfeed my baby until he was 6 months old!! Meaning nothing else went into his body other than Mommy's liquid gold. I did it!!! My milk kept my baby alive and well!! My body did it!!! It made just what he needed, always has, and still is.
I am pregnant again, and for me, I've decided this is the end of our breastfeeding journey. I feel he's doing it now more for comfort than anything else. He eats, well, and a lot. He'll be 21 months old when the baby is born, and weaning him now gives me 5 months of a break, and HOPEFULLY gives him time to not crave it as much. I know he's going to be jealous when baby is here, for more reasons than just nursing. But I want him to have had a break from it, so that it won't be as hard on him then when the baby is getting it & he's not.
The way I started weaning him has worked out great. We were nursing 3 times a day. Morning, Noon before his nap, & then before bedtime. 1st thing when he woke, we would cuddle In bed, mainly because I was still sleepy. He would Nurse, we would talk (baby gibberish) then get up, and get the day started, this was our little routine. It was the first to go. I started cutting that on a Friday when I knew we had to get up early and would be out the house and busy. DISTRACTION was my friend! And that weekend his sibling were here and they're an awesome distraction, because he plays with them the whole time! So this was the easiest one to cut out.
In Nov. I had to go to my mother-in-laws to help watch her mom for a week. While we were there I knew he would be distracted enough, so I could cut the midday feeding & I did. He was not happy the first two days at all. But here is when the distractions came in handy again! I'd take him outside to play. Or give him a snack and juice. Cuddle him some, then he would go down for his nap. This one hasn't been as easy as the morning feedings because he still gets grumpy around nap time and I can tell he's whining for his "ninny". But I cuddle him as long as he wants, then he goes down for a nap (told you he was just comfort nursing).
Once you make your mind up you have to stick to it!!! The tears suck so bad, especially when you know what he wants and it'd be so easy to give it to him... But you have to be strong! Or it's not going to end the way you wanted it to.
Now for the night-time feeding. Tonight he had dinner at 6, as usual. Then a bath. Now he's chilling with dad while I'm here trying not to go pull him from Daddy's lap and nurse him. It is so emotional. I am trying not to cry. Really didn't expect it to make me so sad. It is for more reasons than one. Yes, he's a big boy now, my baby is growing up so quickly, this makes every mom sad. But I also feel like I'm robbing him of his time by cutting him off now. I wanted him to get his 2 years. I also wanted him to understand what a little baby brother or sister is before we introduced him to one. But, that didn't go according to the plan in my head. So adjustments have to be made, for us all. I know he will get used to it and be thrilled to have a little buddy to play with 24/7. I just need to get past the emotions and feeling like I betrayed my firstborn.
Dad is gonna be the biggest help in this last bit of weaning. It has to be done, and I'm glad I slowly weaned him. Going cold turkey would've been horrible for us both. I do not have the mentality to tandem feed. I applaud all the mommy's who do it. But I'm already tired. It is time to stop. It's been a beautiful 16 months. I'm so thankful I was able to provide this for my son. I'm praying it goes as smoothly with the next baby as well.
If you have any questions, or advice please leave a comment. I would love to know how your weaning experience went! Please follow my pregnancy journey on Instagram as well (www.instagram.com/momma.ape)
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