Lil' L's Birth Story

Today is my son's due date! But his birth date, that actually happened on the 18th! He's almost been out of womb, blessing our lives for a whole week now! I had a scheduled C-section, they planned for it at 39 weeks. You would think that knowing ahead of time that you're going in for a C-section birth, that you would have time to mentally prepare yourself. But I don't think it helps, at least it didn't help my worries & anxiety. This was my second C-section so I knew what to expect & to know it was about to all happen again, didn't put me at any ease. But at 10:20 a.m. this gorgeous 7lb 5oz 20" long boy was pulled out of me & all those fears were finally gone! I did it! He's Here! He's Healthy! You're still alive! YAY!

Yes, it's 100% cliche to say that it was all worth it, but look at him! It was completely worth it. All the pain & discomfort I had my whole pregnancy, worth it. The pain & discomfort during my recovery, worth it. A healthy baby boy was my gift for my pains & I couldn't be happier. 

The actual surgery went very well. It's also fast. I was in there being prepped a little before 10 a.m. & Here he is at 10:20 a.m. I had an awesome team in the OR. They had me very relaxed & confident. Especially the Anesthesiologist. I was beyond nervous about the spinal tap, while she was prepping me all I was doing was praying. That needle in my lower back to numb me was NO FUN! But I got through it, and she was just amazing, she even took our pictures for us! I loved that they lowered the drape so that I could see him, they actually offered to lower so I could watch him being born, but I was not too keen on the idea of watching their hands inside my body, pulling him out! I feel like I would have nightmares! My hubby on the other hand watched every single thing they did to me. I was happy just to see the above.

I also opted to have my tubes removed. Yes, Momma is done having babies, two strong healthy boys in this world is more than I could ask for. I will not go through a 3rd C-section. The type of tubal removal I had is not reversible. The tubes themselves are completely 100% removed, leaving ovaries intact. This helps lower risk of ovarian cancer as well. If this is something you're interested in doing, make sure you are 100% resolved in not having any more children. If you think you will change your mind later, you can get clamped, or tied, which can be reversed. I loved that my doctor kept asking me, even while I was on the table, if I was sure just in case I had changed my mind. Like I said before I was 100% sure, so gone they are! 

I was back in recovery around 10:40 or so, and my hubby was in there with baby as he got his first bath, shots, and other test right there in the recovery room! I was broough in as soon as doctor finished putting me back together! I LOVED being able to go through recovery with baby & hubby in same room! Before all this happened while I was in a room alone for over 30 minutes for my recovery. 

When everything was done I was able to start breastfeeding him & doing skin-to-skin. Little guy was just so tired. He latched at 11:20 a.m. and actually didn't eat again until almost midnight, he was too tired, couldn't get him to stay awake long enough to eat!

Once that appetite hit him though, he couldn't be stopped! The second & third day babies cluster feed to get your milk to come in. He literally went from boob to boob for about 4 hours straight, talk about draining you! Literally! But it paid off because by Sunday my milk came in & he was satisfied!! He is such a chill baby so far, he only cries or gets fussy when something is wrong, and it's amazing! Hoping he keeps such a chill temperament!

My pain level was & still is pretty intense! When I was able to feel my legs again, I had nurses remove my catheter, because I just knew I could walk. My mind was strong. Body, not at all. The pain and heaviness I felt the first time I stood up... There are no words. I was able to walk to bathroom with help of the nurses. Saturday morning I was able to get around a little bit better. But still very slowly & turning over in bed was not happening. I was given Motrin & Percocet. As long as the nurses kept up with my doses on time I was okay. Once it would wear off HELLOOOO PAIN! By Sunday I was moving around pretty good, I couldn't believe it. Also the part no one likes to talk about, the blood loss. Mine had slowed down quite a bit, the nurses were pleased about that. Me too. It's still flowing but no more than a regular cycle. This will continue for another week or so.

Surprisingly we were discharged Sunday. Which was amazing to me. I only spend 2 nights in the hospital. I was even able to slowly walk out the hospital! No wheelchair! (which is hospital policy but there was a wait list to be rolled out and I just wanted to GO!)

Now that I've been home I've been trying to take it as easy as possible. Was told not to lift anything heavier than baby, which isn't realistic when I have a 27 pound toddler to look after, who feels like 100 pounds right now. Thankfully my Hubby has taken a week off from work to be home with me so he's been watching me like a hawk & dealing with the toddler. 

I don't like taking the Percocet unless absolutely necessary because it makes me loopy headed & very sleepy. Like pass out on the couch while breastfeeding and not even realize I'm asleep, sleepy. Overall I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would be, but was reminded by my body Tuesday that I just had two surgeries done, and I need to take it easier. Sometimes when I move it feels like my incision is ripping apart, doctor said that's the "thick stitches inside" the incision. All I know is It hurts horribly. So I have to move slowly when doing, well anything. In a little over a week I go to have incision looked at and bandages removed. Hopefully all is well & I'll be able to get around even better by then. Next week hubby goes back to work & the real fun for me begins, home alone with 2 under 2. May my coffee be stronger than my toddler!

Hospital Bag Essentials, No Fluff! (Bonus: Snack Basket!)

So here it is. Sitting there packed, ready & staring at me! Mine & the baby's hospital bag! I'm 34 weeks it needed to be done! Plus we're going 3 hours out of town next Sunday & it needs to be in the car "Just in case." This is my second pregnancy, and will be my second C-section. You're in the hospital at least 2-3 nights for a C-section. Last time we were checked in on a Monday afternoon, and didn't leave until Friday morning. So it's imperative that you have what you need!

Momma:

• 2 pairs of sweat pants, they're loose fitting which is good after the surgery.
• 1 pair of leggings with a high waist 
• 2 nursing tank tops & 1 nursing nightgown
• Nursing bra
• 2 pairs of socks
• 1 pair of flip-flops (you never wanna be barefoot in a hospital room, the floors are freezing, plus ew... germs)
• 1 comfy sun-dress for going home in.
• Sweater (this is my favorite at-home lounge sweater that I cannot be without, if you prefer a robe pack that, you'll want something cozy.)
• Bar of Soap (One thing I remember is washing with my Bath & Body works body wash last time & the smell of it mixed with the fluids coming out of my body, made me sick! Plus you don't need a heavy fragrance around baby, let them smell YOU)
• Dry Shampoo &  Hairspray
• Deodarant
• Toothbrush/Toothpaste
• Coconut Oil (for my poor nipples)
• Cell Phone Charger

That's it! I'm all about comfort! I won't be one of those Mom's who delivered & have a full face of makeup on after for visitors. 

I didn't pack any panties because I will be living in the mesh panties they provide at hospital, last time I asked for extras to take home, and the pads they provide as well. After birth, Vaginal or C-section those are the MOST comfortable thing ever invented!

While you're there you're paying for everything (or insurance is) So you might as well get extras while you can. They also have the nipple soothers that they will refreeze for you, because if you're anything like me for about the first week of breastfeeding them poor nipples are very, very sore! They also have diapers and wipes for baby that you use while there, and they told us to make sure we didn't forget to take them home. DON'T LEAVE YOUR "FREEBIES" BEHIND FOLKS! Every bit helps. 

Baby:

The baby stays swaddled up for the most part while you're at the hospital unless you're nursing or doing skin-to-skin. I remember putting my firstborn in cute onesies and they seemed to get dirty as quick as I put them on him. Plus they come to take him in & out of room multiple times a day for different tests. It's easier to just have a onesie on him and keep him swaddled for warmth!

A few onesies, sleepers & going home outfit. I probably won't even use all of this. But at least I'll have it! I have not had my baby shower yet, so this is all leftovers from my first son, which I much rather use at hospital than the new stuff! 

I remember they kept coming in to check his temperature and saying he was cold so we would do skin-to-skin to warm him up. So this time I'm bringing us a cozy soft baby blanket to snuggle under while doing skin-to-skin cause the hospital cover was stiff & itchy. Also bringing a couple of my swaddles because I HATED the hospital swaddle blanket, if you're a first time swaddler it's horrible trying to wrap up a crying newborn. We had to call the nurse in way too many times to help us swaddle right, because our son liked it when he was swaddled up tight & we just couldn't get the hang of it! The swaddle with the monkeys in the pictures is awesome! SUPER easy to use & it's snug. It easily wraps around and seals with Velcro, if you didn't get any of these its a must-have, for real!

That's it for Momma & Baby! Not much is needed & it all fits in one bag!

Now here's something fun! I got the idea from Pinterest to make my hubby a "Hospital Survival Kit" but I was like, I'm going to make me one too! So we'll have our favorite snacks on hand, because there's not much else to do when you're stuck in the hospital room! So if we're caught off guard with the day we're admitted to hospital like last time & hubby doesn't have his bag packed, at least he'll have snacks!!!

SPD Plaguing Me

If you've been reading my previous blog posts, you know this pregnancy has been completely different and a lot more uncomfortable for me. I am down to the last few weeks now. I cannot believe it's already April, next month my baby boy will be in my arms!

I've been struggling with pelvic pain this pregnancy. Really, it has been the worst part for me. It is an everyday thing, some days a lot worse than others. I had done google searches, and diagnosed myself with SPD. When I had my checkups at the doctor, (my OB that I go to rotates between a few doctors, so I've seen about 5 different ones this pregnancy) they always ask how I'm doing, and I tell them about the pain. Always get the same answer... "Your body responds quicker the 2nd pregnancy, and you'll have more pressure and pain it's normal." Having pain just pressing the brake pedal in the car, or putting on my pants, or walking is not a normal thing. Changing positions in the bed is the WORST, it is a true struggle! I also do stretches, sleep the way articles online suggest & try to move slowly. No relief. 

I had an appointment last week. With the very first doctor we met at this practice, who is AMAZING. She's knowledgeable, thorough, and she seems to have your best interests at heart. I told her about the pain, now it had been months since I seen her. When I described the pain & discomfort, she had me lay back and she pressed on the ligament that runs across the front of your pelvis, it connects the two pelvis joints. She said "tell me if this hurts." When she pressed on it, I could've jumped off the table, yea... it hurt! She said "You have SPD." I KNEW IT!!!!!  

So what is SPD? This article explains it very well: "Pelvis pain in pregnancy (SPD)"

I knew this wasn't just "normal". She said with some women it gets so bad that they need a walker to walk with. Thankfully I can get around without a walker. The ligament is inflamed and she said if I wasn't pregnant they'd give me a steroid to help the inflammation & have me rest. But as we know preggo's are very limited in the medicines we can take! 

But here comes the heartbreaking news I was not in any way ready to hear!!

My first pregnancy was an unplanned C-Section. This time we have been planning the whole time for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Each appointment, each doctor has been backing me & wanting me to do it. I have been hyped the whole pregnancy because I didn't get this experience with my first born. I won't get it this time either. Back under the knife I'll go.

She said she doesn't recommend pushing at all with SPD. The ligament can break, tear, or stretch, & if that happens after labor it could take months to heal properly, which means I wouldn't be able to walk properly & be in pain from it. IF it ever healed properly. My heart sank. C-sections are major, major surgery, & the recovery from them are NO JOKE! My son will be 21 months old when the baby is born, and I also have a 7 & 11 year old that'll be here for the summer. I have to be able to get around. There were a lot of hypothetical's like: IF the baby is small, IF you're dilating, IF you go into labor early. That's too many "if's" for me to be comfortable with. My body didn't go into labor the first time, I was induced... 3 times actually. So it still doesn't know what to do on it's on this time, although I was hoping for the chance. I can't take the risks. So whatever is the safest for baby & I is what I will do. Which, this time around will be another C-section.

When you're told you can't push your baby out, which God made a woman's body to do. It's heartbreaking. Makes you feel like you're body isn't sufficient enough to do what it was made to do! But that's not the way we should feel about ourselves. We have been able to carry a life, and birth it, we're STILL birthing our baby, so what if it's through the help of a surgery? Do you know how AMAZING we are to be able to go through that surgery, which is no easy thing, & our body heal from it, all while we're not able to just lay around & recover. We're taking care of a newborn, and other kids, and a house?! We're strong, strong women to be able to take all that on!!

Every Pregnancy is different.
Every Woman is Different. 
Everyone's pain is different.
Every Mom's Journey is different.

At the end of the day, we're all Mom's and we have one hard job of raising good little people! All that matter is we got them here safe & we do our best day to day!

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First vs. Second Pregnancy Symptoms

Today marks 31 weeks pregnant! In 9 short weeks, give or take a week or so... my baby boy will be out of my womb & in my arms. It is so surreal! Looking back there has been times I have felt like this pregnancy was at a stand still. The "I've been pregnant forever" moments. But now, I realize how fast it has actually flown by! 

The lingering "I'm over being pregnant" moments are probably stemming from the fact that this pregnancy has been SO different & SO much more uncomfortable than my first. You're always hearing each pregnancy is different, each woman is different & how right that is! You also might hear that different symptoms means a different gender. Lies. We thought for sure the way this pregnancy was treating me that we'd be having a girl. Nope, another little boy!

Here's the breakdown.

First Pregnancy:

• Acne- during first trimester, face only, then it cleared up.
• Pelvic Pressure- 3rd trimester, as baby drops and gets bigger it puts more strain on your pelvis.
• Round Ligament Pain- Be careful how you move or you'll feel a SHARP quick pain in your lower abdomen/pelvic region. Feels like something ripping.
• Nausea- It was easy, cured by lemon ginger tea or some peppermint. 
• Food Cravings- I could've ate tacos, or anything Mexican all day everyday. No cravings with second pregnancy.

Both:

• Cold- I walk around in a hoodie in the house while everyone else is fine.
• Leg Cramps- This was actually worse the first pregnancy. They were pretty much my whole pregnancy, and horrible. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. With none of the remedies working for it. This time they've started in my third trimester, and thankfully not every night.
• Crazy Dreams- Pregnancy dreams are the most vivid, weird & wild dreams you'll ever have! They also seem so realistic! 
• Lack of Energy- 1st & 3rd trimesters. Obviously because growing another human is exhausting.
• Baby Hates Coffee- My beloved. In first pregnancy it made me sick. This one it tastes like I'm drinking metal. I can do a frappe, but that's horrible for you, especially when you're trying to not gain a ton of weight. But some days I got to have my caffeine.
• Lack of sleep- Most nights this involves singing the same part of a song over and over for 30 mins. I feel like we're deprived sleep during pregnancy to get us prepared for the newborn who's up every 2 hours to eat or get diaper changed.
• Shortness of Breath- I'm sure this happens to just about all of us, as baby gets bigger more pressure is put on your lungs, so you run out of breath easier. Sometimes just emptying out the dryer has me panting.

Second Pregnancy:

• Acne- Throughout whole pregnancy, not just face it's on my back & legs too, so sexy. 
• Nausea- Not just morning sickness would be all day sickness wouldn't want to eat. Not cured by tea or crackers or peppermint. Would come in waves, where I wish I would just puke to feel better! Thankfully, at least no vomiting. Lasted until half way through 2nd trimester.
• Sensitive, Dry Skin- I cannot stay moisturized, especially my hands! 
• Shedding Hair- This usually happens postpartum but my hair was falling out so badly first trimester! I was afraid I was going to have a huge bald spot.
• Weak Brittle Nails- There's an old wives tale that says when you're pregnant with a girl they steal your beauty, LIE! 
• Headaches- These were some killer headaches! One time it lasted for 4 days, which ended up the doctor making me do a 24hr urine test to make sure nothing was wrong. Thankfully they have eased up in my third trimester!
• Seeing Spots, or "Floaters"- This is HIGHLY annoying. Vision can change during pregnancy, and last time my sight actually improved in one eye! This time I cannot be without glasses or hello headache! I see floaters constantly!
• Pelvic Pain- This is probably my worst symptom this pregnancy. I'm convinced I have SPD Any long amounts of walking, and I'm in pain all day, which is a bummer because this is my favorite exercise. Some days it hurts so badly, just switching my foot from the gas to brake pedal is awful. Putting on pants I have to sit down. Turning over in bed is my cardio, I have to be careful as to how I move. Around Christmas I had a horrible pain in my pelvic area, I am sure it was in the bone, never felt something so painful, not even a contraction, I was so sure something was going to be wrong with baby after that. The next day I could barely walk. I was around 18 weeks then. So I've been suffering with this for quite some time. Doctors just say "it's normal" ... "you just had a baby, your body is going to remember what to do and do it quicker this time"... As if
• Silent Reflux- This is my newest thing. I do not feel the burning sensation of heart burn, this just feels like my food does not go past my chest. Yesterday it felt like it was all trying to crawl back up my throat. It was an all day thing. I was starving & scared to eat. There are a ton of natural remedies. I tried quite a few. I broke down and bought some Pepcid AC last night and it did help once it kicked in. It's supposed to be a 24 hr pill. Today I can feel a little of it, but not like yesterday I'm interested to see once 8pm hits, when the pill wears off if I'm right back in misery. I do not want to have to take this everyday for the rest of this pregnancy.
• Numb Hands- This doesn't come with any pain, they just fall asleep every night, multiple times. 
• Braxton Hicks- I did not have any contractions my first pregnancy until they induced me. My experience with Braxton Hicks contractions has so far only been my uterus tightening and releasing you can feel it happen, belly feels like a brick, but it doesn't hurt... yet.
• Less appetite- There are days I'm HANGRY! But overall, I've not had cravings, or been food crazy. Which makes me happy because I've been able to keep the weight gain under control this time. Last time it felt like I never got full.
• Cry Baby- I cannot handle ANYTHING emotional right now. There are parts in movies that make the tears stream while hubby gives me that "Are you really crying... again?" look. Thanks hormones!

As you can see my first pregnancy list was a lot shorter. I had it pretty easy! Being pregnant comes with a lot of symptoms, some are actually good, like bigger boobs, & thicker hair! I hope my lists didn't scare any of you away from the idea of getting pregnant! But helped you to understand some of the things your body MIGHT go through! It's truly amazing how God created us! We go through so many physical & hormonal changes while pregnant, women are amazing. You can't expect every day to be perfect & comfortable while you're housing a human. But the experience as a whole, it truly is so beautiful & totally worth it. Seems so cliche to say but, I would do it all again for my sons. 

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My C-Section Story

When you're a first time mom, you have this ideal picture in your head of how the whole pregnancy should go. Mid wive tells you to write out a birth plan, you sit and think hard about how you want everything to go, every single detail. Who's allowed in the room. What medicine you will or won't accept, down to if you want the lights on or not. I had it all planned out. I knew that I was gonna push this baby out!! Why not, that's what God made my body to do! 

But come Aug. 9, 2016 aroubd 5pm, my ideal birthing plan came to a screeching hault. I was told for the second time that I had to have a C-section. This time there was no other options, my son's life was at risk. So in I was wheeled for an emergency C-Section to bring my baby boy into this world. I now know that things could have went differently.  I will never forget that moment, ever. A C-section was never a thought in my mind. I was so not ready.

So, here's the details of how it ALL went donw! Where do I begin? Hmm... Oh yes, at the beginning. I carried my son 41+3 days when scheduled for  NST (non-stress test) and an ultrasound. The NST went fine, So I went to the next doctor for my ultrasound. This was a more thorough one than I had gotten previously. More in-depth to check him out to make sure everything was looking good and working properly. She got everything except the reading on the lungs that she needed. But my stubborn baby boy decided not to move around proper for the ultrasound. She could not get the reading and told me if she called my midwife back they would probably admit me because they'll see it as too risky to not go ahead and deliver...

So she called her, and admitted I was. Now you may wonder if I was worried for baby boy? Nope, not at all, because the WHOLE pregnancy he was stubborn, and for some reason he wouldn't move for other people's touches. He would be kicking up a storm, let dad touch my belly, boy would play opossum. Seriously. He was moving in the waiting room. But he just wouldn't move for that ultrasound, Even with a cup of coffee. My boy was stubborn, & still is 9 months later. So to the hospital I went, and here starts my motherhood journey, I was actually scheduled to be admitted later that week, but at this particular moment I was not ready, none of us were. We were in a bathing suits, heading to the beach after my appointment. Or so we thought...

Thinking back on this makes me question so much, and wonder if the staff would've handled things differently if maybe my body would've had time to do it's job. My Sis in law is a Labor & Delivery nurse and she was there, and frustrated by the way they were handling stuff (we were not at her hospital)  Now after researching I know that next pregnancy I will stand up for myself more. First time around you're clueless as to how things are supposed to go. You have trust in your midwives and doctors. You're supposed to be able to trust them. I should've questioned more. Next time you can bet I will have my voice strong!

My midwife got us checked in and told me my options. She said it was up to us if we wanted to be admitted or if we want to go home. After talking, we stayed. I mean I was 2 weeks overdue, let's do this! So they started me on Cervadil, that's a little strip of paper they insert inside you that is supposed to help induce labor, get you dilated... I was 3 CM when admitted. I wasn't making much progress, so here came the second round of Cervadil (Why the second round, if the first wasn't making good progress, why not Pitocin?) I started to contract around 4am on the 9th. First contractions I had ever felt, my whole pregnancy. WOAH!! & of course mine were all up in my back! Still 4cm dilated after all that, no progress made. Every time the nurses came aroudn they were offering an epidural like it was candy. They say the drip can make you and baby feel drunk and tired so they don't recommend... Around 9am when them contractions was strong, that epidural sounded beautiful so I got it. And I probably would again, I'm not one to sit there and battle pain when I don't have to.

Around 10am they broke my water, and baby boy's heart rate dropped. That has to be a shock to a baby's system right? You just interrupted his whole cozy environment he was in for 10 months, thankfully the heart rate bounced back & all was well. For now. Let me go ahead and fill you in on this important detail, do you know the monitors they put around your belly to monitory the baby's heart rate and contractions? 

Look like this: 

They are garbage! They would not stay in place. I can't tell you how many times they had to adjust them, or me to try to get readings. So they opted to put 2 monitors inside me, one attaches to baby's head. After epidural they inserted them, you would think this would be better, right? Wrong! They had to keep removing those as well and reattaching, to my poor unborn's head, once when taking it out of me, the end of it had his hair attached to it! They couldn't get it on him to stay properly because he had a full head of hair! These monitors plagued me & baby for hours!

Ok, so back to after the water breaks, his heart beat calms down, and we just wait. Wait, some more, and be adjusted, moved from side to side, sat me up, laid me down. Checked his position once, and the midwife (not the one I worked with for 9 months) said that he was positioned wrong, she couldn't tell what she was feeling, thought it was his neck and he was positioned with his head held backwards, so picture his face facing my cervix instead of top of his head. After she feels this she starts telling me I'm going to have to have a C-section. Now this is coming from someone who is supposed to do everything she can to avoid a C-Section. Thankfully she couldn't make the decision and had to call a doctor in. The doctor, to me, pretty much looked at the midwife like she was dense. She said to her "he's fine, this is the top of his head, it's his hair you're feeling." 

Really though, his hair. 

HIS HAIR LADY!

All my confidence was lost at that moment. The midwife tried to say he must've re-positioned by the time she got there. Yea, ok.  So here we go waiting some more, more moving me from side to side, sitting me up, which made me vomit & my blood pressure drop, way low. FINALLY giving me Pitocin, around noon or 1pm I believe. More of them pulling out the monitors and sticking them back to my son's head. There's a shift change, and now here we are at 5 pm where the new doctor on duty, is saying once more that I have no choice but to get a C-section because my baby is stressed, (They caused all his stress with those stupid monitors) and because I haven't dilated anymore, body made it to 5cm, even with all the meds. If they would've started me on Piticon when admitted this would've probably been different. They wasted so much of my time, and I was the bottom of their pregnant Momma totem pole, there were 5 other women there a few in active labor when I was admitted. I cried, so much I was so scared this was never a part of my plan. I knew that I was gonna die on that OR table, told my husband I loved him. He kept assuring me it was going to be ok. I felt like my body failed me.

Thinking about all this angers me. My midwife that I had done centering group with, and that was there for all my appointments, who knew me, wasn't on duty for my delivery. I feel like things would've went a lot different if she had been. I feel like they rushed me through everything. I sent her a message that they were talking C-section, but I didn't see her reply until the next day, when she was telling me to tell them no, give me time.  My son wasn't ready to be born yet, that's why he was nice and cozy over 41 weeks.  Next pregnancy I will make sure I give my baby the time he/she needs and not let anyone rush us. Especially if I feel like they're incompetent like the bunch I had then.

Around 6pm I was rolled into the OR, it was so bright, and so cold. My body was shaking uncontrollably, the anesthesiologist said that it was from the extra medications, son't worry I was ok, and that it's normal. Sure didn't feel normal it was super scary. It all happened very fast, next thing I knew I was handed this gorgeous dark-eyed, dark-haired baby.  All the nerves, all the anger, none of it mattered in that moment, he is healthy, and he was birthed. So what if by C-section? At the end of the day it doesn't make me any less of a woman. Or mom. Every time I feel that scar, I smile. I was cut open, and a life pulled out of me, I'm pretty freakin' fierce!!

In another post I will write about the Recovery. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions, or want to share your experience please do, I'd love to hear about it!!

You can follow my Mom Journey on my Instagram (www.instagram.com/momma.ape)

My First Pregnancy!

It all started with a Cruise. What a great time we had. Obviously!!

        We had been planning for a baby, I said it'd be so awesome if it happened on our vacation. Our cruise was Oct 10-14th and Looky looky, Nov. 18, 2015 was the day that stick showed a + and our life was about to get even more interesting!!

I had an overall easy pregnancy. No major issues. Not a lot of discomfort. I carried him for 41 weeks & 3 days, he was comfy in that womb and did not want to come out!!

 On Aug. 8th 2016 I had been scheduled to go in for a NST for the baby, and an ultrasound. The NST was fine. The hospital sent me to a different office for the Ultrasound. Mr. Jacen didn’t want to cooperate for the ultrasound. He was asleep and she needed him to wake up so she could see his lungs move as he breathed. I drank coffee, sat there a while, still he wouldn’t budge. I wasn’t worried because he has been moving fine all morning, he was even moving in the waiting room. I knew he was stubborn like his Momma, and it seemed throughout my whole pregnancy he wouldn't move when being bothered. If his daddy touched my belly, or even if I was trying to record his movement, it's like he just knew something was up and he'd be still.

The ultrasound tech had to call my midwife to tell her she wasn’t able to get the reading on his lungs, and that she tried several times. Well, back to the hospital I was sent, and we were admitted. We were not expecting that. We were all in our beach clothes (I have two "bonus" kids as well 10 year old girl & 6 year old boy) Our car was loaded with beach gear we were expecting a nice sandy day, not to be having a baby. Hubby adrenaline started rushing, he didn't even have a hospital bag packed, yes Mr. Procrastinator. So there we stood with excitement and fear rushing through our veins. This was definitely not part of my amazing Birth Plan. My midwife was there when we were admitted, I loved her we worked with her through my whole pregnancy. She had me all setup & comfy telling me the first steps we were going to try to get me to go into labor, because once again, he was super comfy and not coming out. I was only 3 CM dilated at this time. 

So first thing they did was start me on Cervadil first to see if that would kick start labor. Cervadil was actually inserted twice, why Pitocin wasn’t started first I’m not sure. But after the second Cervadil was inserted around 10pm that night, I was at 4cm dilated, still not much progress. 

 By 4 a.m. I finally learned what a contraction felt like!! (Like I said I had an easy pregnancy, never experienced a contraction until that moment). And they were ALL UP IN MY BACK!

5 a.m. the Nurse came to remove the cervadil I was at 5cm, making progress but not enough for action. August 9th was the longest day of my life. 

 9 a.m. I was completely over the contractions!! The nurses seemed to aske every time they entered the room if I wanted an epidural. Starts to sound really good when that pain hits. So, bring it on... The anesthesiologist stuck me 3 times with that monster of a needle... 3 TIMES!!!! But I surely laid there afterwards oblivious to all the other contractions, and even the fact that I was peeing in a bag. I'm perfectly ok with that decision!  

A lot of women out there have their own opinions on Epidurals. We have different opinions on ever aspect of motherhood. More power to all the mommy’s who can handle that pain, and go all natural. You might think you can as well, it was in my Birth Plan not to get one. But when you're in that moment, in that pain your mind might change like mine. If it doesn't that's great as well! We all have the same result, we gave birth!!! So don't let anyone's opinion belittle the awesomeness your body just accomplished!!

 I sure am glad I got the epidural when I did. Because to make a long story short I ended up having to have an emergency C-Section at 5p.m. I was scared to death!! That was the last thing I ever wanted. I cried, hard. Told my husband if I die that I love him and to take care of the baby, and then I cried some more. All the while hubby telling me it’ll all be ok. 

The anesthesiologist came through to pump me with more stuff. I got wheeled into the SUPER BRIGHT & SUPER COLD Operating room. The medicine they pumped me with had my arms and shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't keep them still no matter how hard I tried.

Next thing I knew, by 6:27 p.m. my beautiful baby boy was handed to me. He was healthy and gorgeous. And in that moment that is all that mattered in the world. He was perfect.

If you have any questions about how it all went down, feel free to ask in the comments!!