Hospital Bag Essentials, No Fluff! (Bonus: Snack Basket!)

So here it is. Sitting there packed, ready & staring at me! Mine & the baby's hospital bag! I'm 34 weeks it needed to be done! Plus we're going 3 hours out of town next Sunday & it needs to be in the car "Just in case." This is my second pregnancy, and will be my second C-section. You're in the hospital at least 2-3 nights for a C-section. Last time we were checked in on a Monday afternoon, and didn't leave until Friday morning. So it's imperative that you have what you need!

Momma:

• 2 pairs of sweat pants, they're loose fitting which is good after the surgery.
• 1 pair of leggings with a high waist 
• 2 nursing tank tops & 1 nursing nightgown
• Nursing bra
• 2 pairs of socks
• 1 pair of flip-flops (you never wanna be barefoot in a hospital room, the floors are freezing, plus ew... germs)
• 1 comfy sun-dress for going home in.
• Sweater (this is my favorite at-home lounge sweater that I cannot be without, if you prefer a robe pack that, you'll want something cozy.)
• Bar of Soap (One thing I remember is washing with my Bath & Body works body wash last time & the smell of it mixed with the fluids coming out of my body, made me sick! Plus you don't need a heavy fragrance around baby, let them smell YOU)
• Dry Shampoo &  Hairspray
• Deodarant
• Toothbrush/Toothpaste
• Coconut Oil (for my poor nipples)
• Cell Phone Charger

That's it! I'm all about comfort! I won't be one of those Mom's who delivered & have a full face of makeup on after for visitors. 

I didn't pack any panties because I will be living in the mesh panties they provide at hospital, last time I asked for extras to take home, and the pads they provide as well. After birth, Vaginal or C-section those are the MOST comfortable thing ever invented!

While you're there you're paying for everything (or insurance is) So you might as well get extras while you can. They also have the nipple soothers that they will refreeze for you, because if you're anything like me for about the first week of breastfeeding them poor nipples are very, very sore! They also have diapers and wipes for baby that you use while there, and they told us to make sure we didn't forget to take them home. DON'T LEAVE YOUR "FREEBIES" BEHIND FOLKS! Every bit helps. 

Baby:

The baby stays swaddled up for the most part while you're at the hospital unless you're nursing or doing skin-to-skin. I remember putting my firstborn in cute onesies and they seemed to get dirty as quick as I put them on him. Plus they come to take him in & out of room multiple times a day for different tests. It's easier to just have a onesie on him and keep him swaddled for warmth!

A few onesies, sleepers & going home outfit. I probably won't even use all of this. But at least I'll have it! I have not had my baby shower yet, so this is all leftovers from my first son, which I much rather use at hospital than the new stuff! 

I remember they kept coming in to check his temperature and saying he was cold so we would do skin-to-skin to warm him up. So this time I'm bringing us a cozy soft baby blanket to snuggle under while doing skin-to-skin cause the hospital cover was stiff & itchy. Also bringing a couple of my swaddles because I HATED the hospital swaddle blanket, if you're a first time swaddler it's horrible trying to wrap up a crying newborn. We had to call the nurse in way too many times to help us swaddle right, because our son liked it when he was swaddled up tight & we just couldn't get the hang of it! The swaddle with the monkeys in the pictures is awesome! SUPER easy to use & it's snug. It easily wraps around and seals with Velcro, if you didn't get any of these its a must-have, for real!

That's it for Momma & Baby! Not much is needed & it all fits in one bag!

Now here's something fun! I got the idea from Pinterest to make my hubby a "Hospital Survival Kit" but I was like, I'm going to make me one too! So we'll have our favorite snacks on hand, because there's not much else to do when you're stuck in the hospital room! So if we're caught off guard with the day we're admitted to hospital like last time & hubby doesn't have his bag packed, at least he'll have snacks!!!

First vs. Second Pregnancy Symptoms

Today marks 31 weeks pregnant! In 9 short weeks, give or take a week or so... my baby boy will be out of my womb & in my arms. It is so surreal! Looking back there has been times I have felt like this pregnancy was at a stand still. The "I've been pregnant forever" moments. But now, I realize how fast it has actually flown by! 

The lingering "I'm over being pregnant" moments are probably stemming from the fact that this pregnancy has been SO different & SO much more uncomfortable than my first. You're always hearing each pregnancy is different, each woman is different & how right that is! You also might hear that different symptoms means a different gender. Lies. We thought for sure the way this pregnancy was treating me that we'd be having a girl. Nope, another little boy!

Here's the breakdown.

First Pregnancy:

• Acne- during first trimester, face only, then it cleared up.
• Pelvic Pressure- 3rd trimester, as baby drops and gets bigger it puts more strain on your pelvis.
• Round Ligament Pain- Be careful how you move or you'll feel a SHARP quick pain in your lower abdomen/pelvic region. Feels like something ripping.
• Nausea- It was easy, cured by lemon ginger tea or some peppermint. 
• Food Cravings- I could've ate tacos, or anything Mexican all day everyday. No cravings with second pregnancy.

Both:

• Cold- I walk around in a hoodie in the house while everyone else is fine.
• Leg Cramps- This was actually worse the first pregnancy. They were pretty much my whole pregnancy, and horrible. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. With none of the remedies working for it. This time they've started in my third trimester, and thankfully not every night.
• Crazy Dreams- Pregnancy dreams are the most vivid, weird & wild dreams you'll ever have! They also seem so realistic! 
• Lack of Energy- 1st & 3rd trimesters. Obviously because growing another human is exhausting.
• Baby Hates Coffee- My beloved. In first pregnancy it made me sick. This one it tastes like I'm drinking metal. I can do a frappe, but that's horrible for you, especially when you're trying to not gain a ton of weight. But some days I got to have my caffeine.
• Lack of sleep- Most nights this involves singing the same part of a song over and over for 30 mins. I feel like we're deprived sleep during pregnancy to get us prepared for the newborn who's up every 2 hours to eat or get diaper changed.
• Shortness of Breath- I'm sure this happens to just about all of us, as baby gets bigger more pressure is put on your lungs, so you run out of breath easier. Sometimes just emptying out the dryer has me panting.

Second Pregnancy:

• Acne- Throughout whole pregnancy, not just face it's on my back & legs too, so sexy. 
• Nausea- Not just morning sickness would be all day sickness wouldn't want to eat. Not cured by tea or crackers or peppermint. Would come in waves, where I wish I would just puke to feel better! Thankfully, at least no vomiting. Lasted until half way through 2nd trimester.
• Sensitive, Dry Skin- I cannot stay moisturized, especially my hands! 
• Shedding Hair- This usually happens postpartum but my hair was falling out so badly first trimester! I was afraid I was going to have a huge bald spot.
• Weak Brittle Nails- There's an old wives tale that says when you're pregnant with a girl they steal your beauty, LIE! 
• Headaches- These were some killer headaches! One time it lasted for 4 days, which ended up the doctor making me do a 24hr urine test to make sure nothing was wrong. Thankfully they have eased up in my third trimester!
• Seeing Spots, or "Floaters"- This is HIGHLY annoying. Vision can change during pregnancy, and last time my sight actually improved in one eye! This time I cannot be without glasses or hello headache! I see floaters constantly!
• Pelvic Pain- This is probably my worst symptom this pregnancy. I'm convinced I have SPD Any long amounts of walking, and I'm in pain all day, which is a bummer because this is my favorite exercise. Some days it hurts so badly, just switching my foot from the gas to brake pedal is awful. Putting on pants I have to sit down. Turning over in bed is my cardio, I have to be careful as to how I move. Around Christmas I had a horrible pain in my pelvic area, I am sure it was in the bone, never felt something so painful, not even a contraction, I was so sure something was going to be wrong with baby after that. The next day I could barely walk. I was around 18 weeks then. So I've been suffering with this for quite some time. Doctors just say "it's normal" ... "you just had a baby, your body is going to remember what to do and do it quicker this time"... As if
• Silent Reflux- This is my newest thing. I do not feel the burning sensation of heart burn, this just feels like my food does not go past my chest. Yesterday it felt like it was all trying to crawl back up my throat. It was an all day thing. I was starving & scared to eat. There are a ton of natural remedies. I tried quite a few. I broke down and bought some Pepcid AC last night and it did help once it kicked in. It's supposed to be a 24 hr pill. Today I can feel a little of it, but not like yesterday I'm interested to see once 8pm hits, when the pill wears off if I'm right back in misery. I do not want to have to take this everyday for the rest of this pregnancy.
• Numb Hands- This doesn't come with any pain, they just fall asleep every night, multiple times. 
• Braxton Hicks- I did not have any contractions my first pregnancy until they induced me. My experience with Braxton Hicks contractions has so far only been my uterus tightening and releasing you can feel it happen, belly feels like a brick, but it doesn't hurt... yet.
• Less appetite- There are days I'm HANGRY! But overall, I've not had cravings, or been food crazy. Which makes me happy because I've been able to keep the weight gain under control this time. Last time it felt like I never got full.
• Cry Baby- I cannot handle ANYTHING emotional right now. There are parts in movies that make the tears stream while hubby gives me that "Are you really crying... again?" look. Thanks hormones!

As you can see my first pregnancy list was a lot shorter. I had it pretty easy! Being pregnant comes with a lot of symptoms, some are actually good, like bigger boobs, & thicker hair! I hope my lists didn't scare any of you away from the idea of getting pregnant! But helped you to understand some of the things your body MIGHT go through! It's truly amazing how God created us! We go through so many physical & hormonal changes while pregnant, women are amazing. You can't expect every day to be perfect & comfortable while you're housing a human. But the experience as a whole, it truly is so beautiful & totally worth it. Seems so cliche to say but, I would do it all again for my sons. 

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Anatomy Scan & Gender Reveal!

Yesterday we went to the doctor to do my anatomy ultrasound. We had been looking forward to this appointment for weeks! Mainly because you finally get to find out the sex of the baby, IF the baby cooperates for the Ultrasound Tech.

But more importantly, you get to see all the little parts of your growing baby & see if they're all working properly. This makes me a nervous wreck! Moms minds always think the worst. At least mine does! 

For a more in depth idea of what little parts I was referring too this list I found at Baby Med gives a perfect breakdown:

The following fetal parts are checked during the anatomy ultrasound:

• Face
• Brain (ventricles, choroid plexus, mid-brain, posterior fossa, cerebellum, cisterna magna, measurements of anterior and posterior horns of lateral ventricles)
• Skull (shape, integrity, BPD and HC measurements)
• Neck (nuchal fold thickness)
• Spine
• Heart (rate, rhythm, 4-chamber views, outflow tract)
• Thorax (shape, lungs, diaphragm)
• Abdomen (stomach, kidneys, liver, bladder, wall, umbilicus, cord, abdominal circumference AC)
• Limbs (femur, tibia, fibula, humerus, radius, ulna, hands, feet femur length FL)
• Genitals (gender, abnormality)
• Cervix (length and opening)

Our ultrasound tech was very nice & thorough. She described it as visually slicing through the baby, as if it were cake, to see all the different parts. It is so awesome you get to see the lobes of the brain, the chambers of the hearts, the lungs, diaphragm & everything listed above. It is so amazing to see on the screen. It's even more amazing & enjoyable when you have a tech that is nice & explains to you everything you're seeing. I was definitely moved to tears!

That's a full body shot, all curled up 😍

So once everything is done & the Tech had all the info she needed, she obliged (because they don't have to... they're there to find what's in that list above, not obligated to figure out the sex) to try to get a shot of the genitals for us. With Jacen he was so stubborn, he wouldn't spread 'em at all for the first ultrasound, so we had to go back again to see. With this baby it had it's little legs curled up too, but the Tech played around with my belly some and had me lay on my side, and we got to see just what we needed...

There's no denying what that is!!! I am officially a Boy Mom x2! Hubby just knew that this was a little girl since my pregnancy has been so different. Last pregnancy I knew without a doubt I was having a boy, this time I was clueless. We were hoping for a little princess, especially daddy, and big sis, she actually cried, poor thing is outnumbered. But we got us another Prince! At he end of the day we're just so thankful he's healthy and growing right the way he's supposed to! Couldn't be anymore thankful!

Now... to figure out what to name the Lil' Peanut!

One thing about having another baby of the same gender so close together is we won't need much for this baby, just essentials. Big Bro has plenty to share! They're bond is gonna be unbreakable growing up together! At first I was so nervous! "How am I gonna do this, two kids this close in age?!?!"... "Jacen is gonna be so jealous! He's too young to understand!"... But now I'm excited and ready for the challenge (remind me I said that when I'm ready to pull my hair our from exhaustion). I cannot wait to meet this little guy & see him and his brother playing & exploring together. They're gonna be amazing together! My Boys!

  

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Kiss your Mom

Aug 4, 2015 was the absolute worst day of my life. A call was made to me early that Tuesday morning that at my mom's home the ambulance and police were there, and that I need to come ASAP because something is going on. My mom suffered from Epilepsy & heart issues. This wasn't the first time I got a call like this. But I felt something was different. My husband rushed to my job to get me, and we flew down the highway towards My mother's house, which was 1 1/2 hours away. The calls kept coming, worried family members, neighbors. I couldn't get a hold of my father. I knew something was horribly wrong this time.

When I finally got my Dad on the phone, he said two words that crushed my entire existence. "She's gone."

I will never forget the tone of his voice. How the earth went quiet in that moment. My reaction. My husband's reaction. Time literally stood still. My mother, my best friend, gone? My heart was and still is, and always will be crushed until I kiss her cheek again.

I can replay every single second of that day, and the days that followed as if they just happened 5 minutes ago. Sounds, sights, how my body felt like it was going to split in two. The faces and emotions of my loved ones. Everything happening so fast, and so surreal.

We were not meant to handle death.

Now here I am, a mother myself, to a 9 month old boy. Everyday I am amazed by him and the things he does. Motherhood is a journey, an amazing one full of ups & downs, & I'm just getting started. Oh how I never in a million years thought I'd experience this without my mother's help, or advice. It makes me miss her a billion times more. Also knowing she won't get to see his beautiful face for quite some time, it's depressing, no other way to describe it. Just purely depressing.  But I do know the day she finally does meet him, she will instantly be in love.

Everything he does makes me wonder if I did that as a baby with my mom, and how she handled it. Mom rocked back and forth all the time. I catch myself doing it to rock my son to sleep, is that why Mom did, and it became a habit she couldn't break? Every time I catch myself rocking I can't help but to smile & wonder, and fight the tears. Did I wear her out the way he wears me out? Did I cling to her & look for her in a crowd the way he does me? Did I cry every time she walked away? Did I fight naps like he does? I have a million questions, I yearn so badly to call or text her to hear her answers.

Motherhood is hard, not having your mother's support that only she can give you, makes it a lot harder. I have family that loves me & my son, & they have helped me & will continue to do so. But there will always be a void no one can fill but her.

Being a mom now has made me love & appreciate her even more. She was a wonderful mother. I hope to be like her.

Never take your mothers for granted. Thank them for their hard work. Kiss them. Hug them. Love them endlessly. Because they did all that and a ton more for you. As soon as I see my mom in the resurrection, after hugging her so hard, I will be letting her know just how thankful I am for the hard work she put into making me the woman I am today. Until then I'll lean on & absorb the strength God & my family gives me.

For information about the Resurrection hope I so strongly believe in please visit: JW.org

My First Pregnancy!

It all started with a Cruise. What a great time we had. Obviously!!

        We had been planning for a baby, I said it'd be so awesome if it happened on our vacation. Our cruise was Oct 10-14th and Looky looky, Nov. 18, 2015 was the day that stick showed a + and our life was about to get even more interesting!!

I had an overall easy pregnancy. No major issues. Not a lot of discomfort. I carried him for 41 weeks & 3 days, he was comfy in that womb and did not want to come out!!

 On Aug. 8th 2016 I had been scheduled to go in for a NST for the baby, and an ultrasound. The NST was fine. The hospital sent me to a different office for the Ultrasound. Mr. Jacen didn’t want to cooperate for the ultrasound. He was asleep and she needed him to wake up so she could see his lungs move as he breathed. I drank coffee, sat there a while, still he wouldn’t budge. I wasn’t worried because he has been moving fine all morning, he was even moving in the waiting room. I knew he was stubborn like his Momma, and it seemed throughout my whole pregnancy he wouldn't move when being bothered. If his daddy touched my belly, or even if I was trying to record his movement, it's like he just knew something was up and he'd be still.

The ultrasound tech had to call my midwife to tell her she wasn’t able to get the reading on his lungs, and that she tried several times. Well, back to the hospital I was sent, and we were admitted. We were not expecting that. We were all in our beach clothes (I have two "bonus" kids as well 10 year old girl & 6 year old boy) Our car was loaded with beach gear we were expecting a nice sandy day, not to be having a baby. Hubby adrenaline started rushing, he didn't even have a hospital bag packed, yes Mr. Procrastinator. So there we stood with excitement and fear rushing through our veins. This was definitely not part of my amazing Birth Plan. My midwife was there when we were admitted, I loved her we worked with her through my whole pregnancy. She had me all setup & comfy telling me the first steps we were going to try to get me to go into labor, because once again, he was super comfy and not coming out. I was only 3 CM dilated at this time. 

So first thing they did was start me on Cervadil first to see if that would kick start labor. Cervadil was actually inserted twice, why Pitocin wasn’t started first I’m not sure. But after the second Cervadil was inserted around 10pm that night, I was at 4cm dilated, still not much progress. 

 By 4 a.m. I finally learned what a contraction felt like!! (Like I said I had an easy pregnancy, never experienced a contraction until that moment). And they were ALL UP IN MY BACK!

5 a.m. the Nurse came to remove the cervadil I was at 5cm, making progress but not enough for action. August 9th was the longest day of my life. 

 9 a.m. I was completely over the contractions!! The nurses seemed to aske every time they entered the room if I wanted an epidural. Starts to sound really good when that pain hits. So, bring it on... The anesthesiologist stuck me 3 times with that monster of a needle... 3 TIMES!!!! But I surely laid there afterwards oblivious to all the other contractions, and even the fact that I was peeing in a bag. I'm perfectly ok with that decision!  

A lot of women out there have their own opinions on Epidurals. We have different opinions on ever aspect of motherhood. More power to all the mommy’s who can handle that pain, and go all natural. You might think you can as well, it was in my Birth Plan not to get one. But when you're in that moment, in that pain your mind might change like mine. If it doesn't that's great as well! We all have the same result, we gave birth!!! So don't let anyone's opinion belittle the awesomeness your body just accomplished!!

 I sure am glad I got the epidural when I did. Because to make a long story short I ended up having to have an emergency C-Section at 5p.m. I was scared to death!! That was the last thing I ever wanted. I cried, hard. Told my husband if I die that I love him and to take care of the baby, and then I cried some more. All the while hubby telling me it’ll all be ok. 

The anesthesiologist came through to pump me with more stuff. I got wheeled into the SUPER BRIGHT & SUPER COLD Operating room. The medicine they pumped me with had my arms and shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't keep them still no matter how hard I tried.

Next thing I knew, by 6:27 p.m. my beautiful baby boy was handed to me. He was healthy and gorgeous. And in that moment that is all that mattered in the world. He was perfect.

If you have any questions about how it all went down, feel free to ask in the comments!!