Working Momma

This is my final night as a SAHM. 

I have added a part time job to my Mom life.

Thankfully I found a job that’ll work with my schedule. The beauty of it is, I can still stay home with my boys during the day!

I’ll be working when hubby comes home and only a couple nights a week.

I am a mess of emotions about it!!! I haven’t worked in 3 years! I stopped work during my last trimester my first pregnancy.

I am glad to be able to get out the house and focus on something other than wiping butts & fetching snacks. (I know I do way more than that, but sometimes it feels like that’s all I accomplish in a day). Some more adult interaction definitely is welcomed. It’ll also feel good knowing I’m contributing financially to the family again as well. It was a hard adjustment for me to stop working (outside the house) all together, because I’ve worked since I was 18! I’ve always had an income.

It’s going to be weird until I get my feel of things. Especially having to pump breast milk at work. But I’ll figure it all out (just like every other mother who’s working & pumping). It’s going to be a new journey balancing motherhood with a job. During the days will be as they are now. But sprinkle in a 5-6 hour work day a few times a week. I am already a walking Mombie... so this is going to be interesting! I’m still young-ish & there’s always more caffeine that can be implemented. 😆 All in all I’m excited to start working again & hey, who doesn’t love extra money?!

I will be trying to keep up with the Blog for sure! I still have a lot to fill you in on. Like how horribly my C-section recovery went, & we bought a house! Also, don’t think I’ve forgot to update you on the struggle of my weight loss. But we really did misplace the bathroom scale when we moved & I literally keep forgetting to buy a new one! (I blame Mom-brain!)  As soon as I do an update is on the way! 

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Anatomy Scan & Gender Reveal!

Yesterday we went to the doctor to do my anatomy ultrasound. We had been looking forward to this appointment for weeks! Mainly because you finally get to find out the sex of the baby, IF the baby cooperates for the Ultrasound Tech.

But more importantly, you get to see all the little parts of your growing baby & see if they're all working properly. This makes me a nervous wreck! Moms minds always think the worst. At least mine does! 

For a more in depth idea of what little parts I was referring too this list I found at Baby Med gives a perfect breakdown:

The following fetal parts are checked during the anatomy ultrasound:

• Face
• Brain (ventricles, choroid plexus, mid-brain, posterior fossa, cerebellum, cisterna magna, measurements of anterior and posterior horns of lateral ventricles)
• Skull (shape, integrity, BPD and HC measurements)
• Neck (nuchal fold thickness)
• Spine
• Heart (rate, rhythm, 4-chamber views, outflow tract)
• Thorax (shape, lungs, diaphragm)
• Abdomen (stomach, kidneys, liver, bladder, wall, umbilicus, cord, abdominal circumference AC)
• Limbs (femur, tibia, fibula, humerus, radius, ulna, hands, feet femur length FL)
• Genitals (gender, abnormality)
• Cervix (length and opening)

Our ultrasound tech was very nice & thorough. She described it as visually slicing through the baby, as if it were cake, to see all the different parts. It is so awesome you get to see the lobes of the brain, the chambers of the hearts, the lungs, diaphragm & everything listed above. It is so amazing to see on the screen. It's even more amazing & enjoyable when you have a tech that is nice & explains to you everything you're seeing. I was definitely moved to tears!

That's a full body shot, all curled up 😍

So once everything is done & the Tech had all the info she needed, she obliged (because they don't have to... they're there to find what's in that list above, not obligated to figure out the sex) to try to get a shot of the genitals for us. With Jacen he was so stubborn, he wouldn't spread 'em at all for the first ultrasound, so we had to go back again to see. With this baby it had it's little legs curled up too, but the Tech played around with my belly some and had me lay on my side, and we got to see just what we needed...

There's no denying what that is!!! I am officially a Boy Mom x2! Hubby just knew that this was a little girl since my pregnancy has been so different. Last pregnancy I knew without a doubt I was having a boy, this time I was clueless. We were hoping for a little princess, especially daddy, and big sis, she actually cried, poor thing is outnumbered. But we got us another Prince! At he end of the day we're just so thankful he's healthy and growing right the way he's supposed to! Couldn't be anymore thankful!

Now... to figure out what to name the Lil' Peanut!

One thing about having another baby of the same gender so close together is we won't need much for this baby, just essentials. Big Bro has plenty to share! They're bond is gonna be unbreakable growing up together! At first I was so nervous! "How am I gonna do this, two kids this close in age?!?!"... "Jacen is gonna be so jealous! He's too young to understand!"... But now I'm excited and ready for the challenge (remind me I said that when I'm ready to pull my hair our from exhaustion). I cannot wait to meet this little guy & see him and his brother playing & exploring together. They're gonna be amazing together! My Boys!

  

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Lost in Motherhood

Motherhood is a beautiful blessing. I cherish every single moment that I am able to share with my kids. I am very thankful for the opportunity to be able to be the one to stay home & raise them.

But Truth Moment: Some days it feels like I have completely lost myself, Where has April gone?

Today was surely one of those days. I haven't left the house since Monday, it's Thursday... The walls really closed in today. Of course I could get out and go for a walk or take little man to the park, but  I'm BEYOND exhausted! I'm keeping the toddler alive, and growing a new human at the same time. I'm tired. The past few days I have felt like I'm back in the first trimester, I would literally have not got out the bed if it wasn't for the needs of my son. Then here comes the guilt, he's stuck in the house with me, we do flash cards and he brings me multiple books to read all day, but the rest of the time he's rotting his brain out to Paw Patrol or Finding Dory for the 500th time. I feel like a failure to him on days like this. I want him to be outside exploring, or if we're stuck in the house to be making a mess with play-doh and paint, or something constructive.

There's only so much I can do when my body is begging me to lay down. 

Before motherhood took over, I was a Nail-tech, working at spas, pampering others & getting pampered. Having adult conversations, albeit it most was them bragging about the things they had, but hey, it was another adult. I made them feel brand new with some seriously cute nails.

Something I enjoyed to do very much. But now, I don't have the time, I barely do my own anymore. Feels like I'm wasting my talent. I hope to get back into it one day.

We decided when I got pregnant that due to our finances it just made since for me to stay at home, and once again, YES I am very thankful for this. I couldn't imagine dropping my son off at day care, with strangers. When he starts school I'm sure I'll be THAT mom who's crying her eyes out in the car. This was the best for us, and that's why I am doing it. It is a HARD JOB! Everything about being a SAHM is still new to me. It's still an adjustment. Even 17 months into the role.  There's no clocking out. No Sick days. No Vacation. When I think I got it down pat, life laughs at me. In May I'll have a toddler, a newborn, a 7 & 11 year old up in this house with me! I honestly don't think there is enough caffeine to get me through the days! 

The new April is a mom 110% of the time 365 days of the year.

I may have lost the more independent, working, nail-artist April, but what have I gained? 

The Love of my son, the pure unconditional love. I have watched him grow each and everyday, stronger & smarter. I haven't missed a single milestone! That assures me that I'm not failing him after all. He's happy & healthy. Tomorrow is a new day. As long as he is smiling, I'm doing my job well! 

Over the next few years I'm sure that I'll adjust better into this Motherhood thing. No Mom is perfect, we are our worst critics. It's OK to get tired. To get frustrated. To be mentally & Physically drained, you will always bounce back, why? Because those big brown eyes (in my case) are depending on you to brighten their day & you wouldn't have it any other way.

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