When you're a first time mom, you have this ideal picture in your head of how the whole pregnancy should go. Mid wive tells you to write out a birth plan, you sit and think hard about how you want everything to go, every single detail. Who's allowed in the room. What medicine you will or won't accept, down to if you want the lights on or not. I had it all planned out. I knew that I was gonna push this baby out!! Why not, that's what God made my body to do!
But come Aug. 9, 2016 aroubd 5pm, my ideal birthing plan came to a screeching hault. I was told for the second time that I had to have a C-section. This time there was no other options, my son's life was at risk. So in I was wheeled for an emergency C-Section to bring my baby boy into this world. I now know that things could have went differently. I will never forget that moment, ever. A C-section was never a thought in my mind. I was so not ready.
So, here's the details of how it ALL went donw! Where do I begin? Hmm... Oh yes, at the beginning. I carried my son 41+3 days when scheduled for NST (non-stress test) and an ultrasound. The NST went fine, So I went to the next doctor for my ultrasound. This was a more thorough one than I had gotten previously. More in-depth to check him out to make sure everything was looking good and working properly. She got everything except the reading on the lungs that she needed. But my stubborn baby boy decided not to move around proper for the ultrasound. She could not get the reading and told me if she called my midwife back they would probably admit me because they'll see it as too risky to not go ahead and deliver...
So she called her, and admitted I was. Now you may wonder if I was worried for baby boy? Nope, not at all, because the WHOLE pregnancy he was stubborn, and for some reason he wouldn't move for other people's touches. He would be kicking up a storm, let dad touch my belly, boy would play opossum. Seriously. He was moving in the waiting room. But he just wouldn't move for that ultrasound, Even with a cup of coffee. My boy was stubborn, & still is 9 months later. So to the hospital I went, and here starts my motherhood journey, I was actually scheduled to be admitted later that week, but at this particular moment I was not ready, none of us were. We were in a bathing suits, heading to the beach after my appointment. Or so we thought...
Thinking back on this makes me question so much, and wonder if the staff would've handled things differently if maybe my body would've had time to do it's job. My Sis in law is a Labor & Delivery nurse and she was there, and frustrated by the way they were handling stuff (we were not at her hospital) Now after researching I know that next pregnancy I will stand up for myself more. First time around you're clueless as to how things are supposed to go. You have trust in your midwives and doctors. You're supposed to be able to trust them. I should've questioned more. Next time you can bet I will have my voice strong!
My midwife got us checked in and told me my options. She said it was up to us if we wanted to be admitted or if we want to go home. After talking, we stayed. I mean I was 2 weeks overdue, let's do this! So they started me on Cervadil, that's a little strip of paper they insert inside you that is supposed to help induce labor, get you dilated... I was 3 CM when admitted. I wasn't making much progress, so here came the second round of Cervadil (Why the second round, if the first wasn't making good progress, why not Pitocin?) I started to contract around 4am on the 9th. First contractions I had ever felt, my whole pregnancy. WOAH!! & of course mine were all up in my back! Still 4cm dilated after all that, no progress made. Every time the nurses came aroudn they were offering an epidural like it was candy. They say the drip can make you and baby feel drunk and tired so they don't recommend... Around 9am when them contractions was strong, that epidural sounded beautiful so I got it. And I probably would again, I'm not one to sit there and battle pain when I don't have to.
Around 10am they broke my water, and baby boy's heart rate dropped. That has to be a shock to a baby's system right? You just interrupted his whole cozy environment he was in for 10 months, thankfully the heart rate bounced back & all was well. For now. Let me go ahead and fill you in on this important detail, do you know the monitors they put around your belly to monitory the baby's heart rate and contractions?
Look like this:
They are garbage! They would not stay in place. I can't tell you how many times they had to adjust them, or me to try to get readings. So they opted to put 2 monitors inside me, one attaches to baby's head. After epidural they inserted them, you would think this would be better, right? Wrong! They had to keep removing those as well and reattaching, to my poor unborn's head, once when taking it out of me, the end of it had his hair attached to it! They couldn't get it on him to stay properly because he had a full head of hair! These monitors plagued me & baby for hours!
Ok, so back to after the water breaks, his heart beat calms down, and we just wait. Wait, some more, and be adjusted, moved from side to side, sat me up, laid me down. Checked his position once, and the midwife (not the one I worked with for 9 months) said that he was positioned wrong, she couldn't tell what she was feeling, thought it was his neck and he was positioned with his head held backwards, so picture his face facing my cervix instead of top of his head. After she feels this she starts telling me I'm going to have to have a C-section. Now this is coming from someone who is supposed to do everything she can to avoid a C-Section. Thankfully she couldn't make the decision and had to call a doctor in. The doctor, to me, pretty much looked at the midwife like she was dense. She said to her "he's fine, this is the top of his head, it's his hair you're feeling."
Really though, his hair.
HIS HAIR LADY!
All my confidence was lost at that moment. The midwife tried to say he must've re-positioned by the time she got there. Yea, ok. So here we go waiting some more, more moving me from side to side, sitting me up, which made me vomit & my blood pressure drop, way low. FINALLY giving me Pitocin, around noon or 1pm I believe. More of them pulling out the monitors and sticking them back to my son's head. There's a shift change, and now here we are at 5 pm where the new doctor on duty, is saying once more that I have no choice but to get a C-section because my baby is stressed, (They caused all his stress with those stupid monitors) and because I haven't dilated anymore, body made it to 5cm, even with all the meds. If they would've started me on Piticon when admitted this would've probably been different. They wasted so much of my time, and I was the bottom of their pregnant Momma totem pole, there were 5 other women there a few in active labor when I was admitted. I cried, so much I was so scared this was never a part of my plan. I knew that I was gonna die on that OR table, told my husband I loved him. He kept assuring me it was going to be ok. I felt like my body failed me.
Thinking about all this angers me. My midwife that I had done centering group with, and that was there for all my appointments, who knew me, wasn't on duty for my delivery. I feel like things would've went a lot different if she had been. I feel like they rushed me through everything. I sent her a message that they were talking C-section, but I didn't see her reply until the next day, when she was telling me to tell them no, give me time. My son wasn't ready to be born yet, that's why he was nice and cozy over 41 weeks. Next pregnancy I will make sure I give my baby the time he/she needs and not let anyone rush us. Especially if I feel like they're incompetent like the bunch I had then.
Around 6pm I was rolled into the OR, it was so bright, and so cold. My body was shaking uncontrollably, the anesthesiologist said that it was from the extra medications, son't worry I was ok, and that it's normal. Sure didn't feel normal it was super scary. It all happened very fast, next thing I knew I was handed this gorgeous dark-eyed, dark-haired baby. All the nerves, all the anger, none of it mattered in that moment, he is healthy, and he was birthed. So what if by C-section? At the end of the day it doesn't make me any less of a woman. Or mom. Every time I feel that scar, I smile. I was cut open, and a life pulled out of me, I'm pretty freakin' fierce!!
In another post I will write about the Recovery. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions, or want to share your experience please do, I'd love to hear about it!!
You can follow my Mom Journey on my Instagram (www.instagram.com/momma.ape)
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