Momma's last Pregnancy

 photos by http://jacqpettie.com

As I sit here today sipping my cold coffee (that I reheated only twice so far) while my toddler is by me dancing on the couch to PJ Masks, I find myself reflecting on the past 9 months. I’m approaching the end of my pregnancy journey. Not just the end of this pregnancy journey, but the end entirely, this will be my last pregnancy. 

In 3 days my baby boy will be in my arms! It’s so surreal that the time is finally here. So I’m enjoying & cherishing every little kick, hiccup & cartwheel on my bladder that he does in there, feelings that will never be forgotten. 

I am also enjoying the last few days of being just a Toddler Mom. Things are about to get real up in here! I believe my son knows that there is a change coming. It's funny because he will pul up my shirt and lay his head on my belly. Blow Raspberries, or just pat it & lay his head there. I've never showed him how to do that. I hope that he makes the adjustment to big bro well! I'm a little nervous because he's surely a Momma's boy, & he's had all of my attention almost everyday of his life so far, but now it's time to share Momma!

My friends showered me with love & a maternity shoot! This has been a great last month of pregnancy. Wonderful memories were made. 

Overall if you’ve kept up with my previous blog posts, then you know this has been a very uncomfortable pregnancy for me. But even though it’s been a struggle, it has been a healthy pregnancy overall & in this world that’s a blessing!

I’m having to end this pregnancy with my second C-Section due to SPD. After getting my husbands feelings on the matter, I’ve decided I’m getting my tubes removed. Not tied, or clamped, there's no reversing this procedure! I am 150% sure that's what I want. I will not go through a third C-Section. Being able to bring two healthy boys into this life makes me over the moon happy. It’s not how I pictured my births going but it’s what has had to happen. With this being a planned C-section you would think it helps ease the mind, but for me... not at all. I’m very nervous, scared & anxious. I will be until they have him safely out of me, me all sewn up & the surgery over. Then the fear will be gone.


But it won’t be "easy peasy lemon squeezy" (thanks PJ Masks) from there because, then I face the road to recovery! All while tending to my almost 2 year old & the newborn. Plus it’s summer break & our two oldest kids will be with us. Oh, & did I mention we’re also moving? Yep there’s going to be a lot on our plates for the next few months! Hopefully by the end of Summer we're in a routine & settled!

Us women are some strong beings. I remember a lot of my recovery from the last time & I’m hoping my body remembers to & this time, just maybe, it’ll be a little easier on me. But I’m not banking on that. A cesarean is a MAJOR surgery, plus my tubes will be removed before I’m done as well. So two surgeries at once! My body is going to need the rest that I won’t be able to give it like last time. But all I can do is take it day by day, and pace myself & remember “Woman you were just cut open an a baby was taken out of you, sit down!”


As a Mom I feel like everything has to be done ASAP and everyone needs to be happy. I want to help with everything (especially this move). I know though, until I’m completely recovered somethings will just have to wait on me. I will have to shut down my overworking brain, & let my body have it’s time. The last thing I want to do is over do it & end up back in the hospital. No one has time for that!

May 18th, 8am me & hubby will be at the hospital, me getting prepped & ready to welcome to the world our new baby. I will be back to let you know how the C-section goes this time, and what it's like being a Momma of 2 under 2. Thank you for all of the support & love shown this pregnancy!

SPD Plaguing Me

If you've been reading my previous blog posts, you know this pregnancy has been completely different and a lot more uncomfortable for me. I am down to the last few weeks now. I cannot believe it's already April, next month my baby boy will be in my arms!

I've been struggling with pelvic pain this pregnancy. Really, it has been the worst part for me. It is an everyday thing, some days a lot worse than others. I had done google searches, and diagnosed myself with SPD. When I had my checkups at the doctor, (my OB that I go to rotates between a few doctors, so I've seen about 5 different ones this pregnancy) they always ask how I'm doing, and I tell them about the pain. Always get the same answer... "Your body responds quicker the 2nd pregnancy, and you'll have more pressure and pain it's normal." Having pain just pressing the brake pedal in the car, or putting on my pants, or walking is not a normal thing. Changing positions in the bed is the WORST, it is a true struggle! I also do stretches, sleep the way articles online suggest & try to move slowly. No relief. 

I had an appointment last week. With the very first doctor we met at this practice, who is AMAZING. She's knowledgeable, thorough, and she seems to have your best interests at heart. I told her about the pain, now it had been months since I seen her. When I described the pain & discomfort, she had me lay back and she pressed on the ligament that runs across the front of your pelvis, it connects the two pelvis joints. She said "tell me if this hurts." When she pressed on it, I could've jumped off the table, yea... it hurt! She said "You have SPD." I KNEW IT!!!!!  

So what is SPD? This article explains it very well: "Pelvis pain in pregnancy (SPD)"

I knew this wasn't just "normal". She said with some women it gets so bad that they need a walker to walk with. Thankfully I can get around without a walker. The ligament is inflamed and she said if I wasn't pregnant they'd give me a steroid to help the inflammation & have me rest. But as we know preggo's are very limited in the medicines we can take! 

But here comes the heartbreaking news I was not in any way ready to hear!!

My first pregnancy was an unplanned C-Section. This time we have been planning the whole time for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Each appointment, each doctor has been backing me & wanting me to do it. I have been hyped the whole pregnancy because I didn't get this experience with my first born. I won't get it this time either. Back under the knife I'll go.

She said she doesn't recommend pushing at all with SPD. The ligament can break, tear, or stretch, & if that happens after labor it could take months to heal properly, which means I wouldn't be able to walk properly & be in pain from it. IF it ever healed properly. My heart sank. C-sections are major, major surgery, & the recovery from them are NO JOKE! My son will be 21 months old when the baby is born, and I also have a 7 & 11 year old that'll be here for the summer. I have to be able to get around. There were a lot of hypothetical's like: IF the baby is small, IF you're dilating, IF you go into labor early. That's too many "if's" for me to be comfortable with. My body didn't go into labor the first time, I was induced... 3 times actually. So it still doesn't know what to do on it's on this time, although I was hoping for the chance. I can't take the risks. So whatever is the safest for baby & I is what I will do. Which, this time around will be another C-section.

When you're told you can't push your baby out, which God made a woman's body to do. It's heartbreaking. Makes you feel like you're body isn't sufficient enough to do what it was made to do! But that's not the way we should feel about ourselves. We have been able to carry a life, and birth it, we're STILL birthing our baby, so what if it's through the help of a surgery? Do you know how AMAZING we are to be able to go through that surgery, which is no easy thing, & our body heal from it, all while we're not able to just lay around & recover. We're taking care of a newborn, and other kids, and a house?! We're strong, strong women to be able to take all that on!!

Every Pregnancy is different.
Every Woman is Different. 
Everyone's pain is different.
Every Mom's Journey is different.

At the end of the day, we're all Mom's and we have one hard job of raising good little people! All that matter is we got them here safe & we do our best day to day!

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