SPD Plaguing Me

If you've been reading my previous blog posts, you know this pregnancy has been completely different and a lot more uncomfortable for me. I am down to the last few weeks now. I cannot believe it's already April, next month my baby boy will be in my arms!

I've been struggling with pelvic pain this pregnancy. Really, it has been the worst part for me. It is an everyday thing, some days a lot worse than others. I had done google searches, and diagnosed myself with SPD. When I had my checkups at the doctor, (my OB that I go to rotates between a few doctors, so I've seen about 5 different ones this pregnancy) they always ask how I'm doing, and I tell them about the pain. Always get the same answer... "Your body responds quicker the 2nd pregnancy, and you'll have more pressure and pain it's normal." Having pain just pressing the brake pedal in the car, or putting on my pants, or walking is not a normal thing. Changing positions in the bed is the WORST, it is a true struggle! I also do stretches, sleep the way articles online suggest & try to move slowly. No relief. 

I had an appointment last week. With the very first doctor we met at this practice, who is AMAZING. She's knowledgeable, thorough, and she seems to have your best interests at heart. I told her about the pain, now it had been months since I seen her. When I described the pain & discomfort, she had me lay back and she pressed on the ligament that runs across the front of your pelvis, it connects the two pelvis joints. She said "tell me if this hurts." When she pressed on it, I could've jumped off the table, yea... it hurt! She said "You have SPD." I KNEW IT!!!!!  

So what is SPD? This article explains it very well: "Pelvis pain in pregnancy (SPD)"

I knew this wasn't just "normal". She said with some women it gets so bad that they need a walker to walk with. Thankfully I can get around without a walker. The ligament is inflamed and she said if I wasn't pregnant they'd give me a steroid to help the inflammation & have me rest. But as we know preggo's are very limited in the medicines we can take! 

But here comes the heartbreaking news I was not in any way ready to hear!!

My first pregnancy was an unplanned C-Section. This time we have been planning the whole time for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Each appointment, each doctor has been backing me & wanting me to do it. I have been hyped the whole pregnancy because I didn't get this experience with my first born. I won't get it this time either. Back under the knife I'll go.

She said she doesn't recommend pushing at all with SPD. The ligament can break, tear, or stretch, & if that happens after labor it could take months to heal properly, which means I wouldn't be able to walk properly & be in pain from it. IF it ever healed properly. My heart sank. C-sections are major, major surgery, & the recovery from them are NO JOKE! My son will be 21 months old when the baby is born, and I also have a 7 & 11 year old that'll be here for the summer. I have to be able to get around. There were a lot of hypothetical's like: IF the baby is small, IF you're dilating, IF you go into labor early. That's too many "if's" for me to be comfortable with. My body didn't go into labor the first time, I was induced... 3 times actually. So it still doesn't know what to do on it's on this time, although I was hoping for the chance. I can't take the risks. So whatever is the safest for baby & I is what I will do. Which, this time around will be another C-section.

When you're told you can't push your baby out, which God made a woman's body to do. It's heartbreaking. Makes you feel like you're body isn't sufficient enough to do what it was made to do! But that's not the way we should feel about ourselves. We have been able to carry a life, and birth it, we're STILL birthing our baby, so what if it's through the help of a surgery? Do you know how AMAZING we are to be able to go through that surgery, which is no easy thing, & our body heal from it, all while we're not able to just lay around & recover. We're taking care of a newborn, and other kids, and a house?! We're strong, strong women to be able to take all that on!!

Every Pregnancy is different.
Every Woman is Different. 
Everyone's pain is different.
Every Mom's Journey is different.

At the end of the day, we're all Mom's and we have one hard job of raising good little people! All that matter is we got them here safe & we do our best day to day!

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First vs. Second Pregnancy Symptoms

Today marks 31 weeks pregnant! In 9 short weeks, give or take a week or so... my baby boy will be out of my womb & in my arms. It is so surreal! Looking back there has been times I have felt like this pregnancy was at a stand still. The "I've been pregnant forever" moments. But now, I realize how fast it has actually flown by! 

The lingering "I'm over being pregnant" moments are probably stemming from the fact that this pregnancy has been SO different & SO much more uncomfortable than my first. You're always hearing each pregnancy is different, each woman is different & how right that is! You also might hear that different symptoms means a different gender. Lies. We thought for sure the way this pregnancy was treating me that we'd be having a girl. Nope, another little boy!

Here's the breakdown.

First Pregnancy:

• Acne- during first trimester, face only, then it cleared up.
• Pelvic Pressure- 3rd trimester, as baby drops and gets bigger it puts more strain on your pelvis.
• Round Ligament Pain- Be careful how you move or you'll feel a SHARP quick pain in your lower abdomen/pelvic region. Feels like something ripping.
• Nausea- It was easy, cured by lemon ginger tea or some peppermint. 
• Food Cravings- I could've ate tacos, or anything Mexican all day everyday. No cravings with second pregnancy.

Both:

• Cold- I walk around in a hoodie in the house while everyone else is fine.
• Leg Cramps- This was actually worse the first pregnancy. They were pretty much my whole pregnancy, and horrible. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. With none of the remedies working for it. This time they've started in my third trimester, and thankfully not every night.
• Crazy Dreams- Pregnancy dreams are the most vivid, weird & wild dreams you'll ever have! They also seem so realistic! 
• Lack of Energy- 1st & 3rd trimesters. Obviously because growing another human is exhausting.
• Baby Hates Coffee- My beloved. In first pregnancy it made me sick. This one it tastes like I'm drinking metal. I can do a frappe, but that's horrible for you, especially when you're trying to not gain a ton of weight. But some days I got to have my caffeine.
• Lack of sleep- Most nights this involves singing the same part of a song over and over for 30 mins. I feel like we're deprived sleep during pregnancy to get us prepared for the newborn who's up every 2 hours to eat or get diaper changed.
• Shortness of Breath- I'm sure this happens to just about all of us, as baby gets bigger more pressure is put on your lungs, so you run out of breath easier. Sometimes just emptying out the dryer has me panting.

Second Pregnancy:

• Acne- Throughout whole pregnancy, not just face it's on my back & legs too, so sexy. 
• Nausea- Not just morning sickness would be all day sickness wouldn't want to eat. Not cured by tea or crackers or peppermint. Would come in waves, where I wish I would just puke to feel better! Thankfully, at least no vomiting. Lasted until half way through 2nd trimester.
• Sensitive, Dry Skin- I cannot stay moisturized, especially my hands! 
• Shedding Hair- This usually happens postpartum but my hair was falling out so badly first trimester! I was afraid I was going to have a huge bald spot.
• Weak Brittle Nails- There's an old wives tale that says when you're pregnant with a girl they steal your beauty, LIE! 
• Headaches- These were some killer headaches! One time it lasted for 4 days, which ended up the doctor making me do a 24hr urine test to make sure nothing was wrong. Thankfully they have eased up in my third trimester!
• Seeing Spots, or "Floaters"- This is HIGHLY annoying. Vision can change during pregnancy, and last time my sight actually improved in one eye! This time I cannot be without glasses or hello headache! I see floaters constantly!
• Pelvic Pain- This is probably my worst symptom this pregnancy. I'm convinced I have SPD Any long amounts of walking, and I'm in pain all day, which is a bummer because this is my favorite exercise. Some days it hurts so badly, just switching my foot from the gas to brake pedal is awful. Putting on pants I have to sit down. Turning over in bed is my cardio, I have to be careful as to how I move. Around Christmas I had a horrible pain in my pelvic area, I am sure it was in the bone, never felt something so painful, not even a contraction, I was so sure something was going to be wrong with baby after that. The next day I could barely walk. I was around 18 weeks then. So I've been suffering with this for quite some time. Doctors just say "it's normal" ... "you just had a baby, your body is going to remember what to do and do it quicker this time"... As if
• Silent Reflux- This is my newest thing. I do not feel the burning sensation of heart burn, this just feels like my food does not go past my chest. Yesterday it felt like it was all trying to crawl back up my throat. It was an all day thing. I was starving & scared to eat. There are a ton of natural remedies. I tried quite a few. I broke down and bought some Pepcid AC last night and it did help once it kicked in. It's supposed to be a 24 hr pill. Today I can feel a little of it, but not like yesterday I'm interested to see once 8pm hits, when the pill wears off if I'm right back in misery. I do not want to have to take this everyday for the rest of this pregnancy.
• Numb Hands- This doesn't come with any pain, they just fall asleep every night, multiple times. 
• Braxton Hicks- I did not have any contractions my first pregnancy until they induced me. My experience with Braxton Hicks contractions has so far only been my uterus tightening and releasing you can feel it happen, belly feels like a brick, but it doesn't hurt... yet.
• Less appetite- There are days I'm HANGRY! But overall, I've not had cravings, or been food crazy. Which makes me happy because I've been able to keep the weight gain under control this time. Last time it felt like I never got full.
• Cry Baby- I cannot handle ANYTHING emotional right now. There are parts in movies that make the tears stream while hubby gives me that "Are you really crying... again?" look. Thanks hormones!

As you can see my first pregnancy list was a lot shorter. I had it pretty easy! Being pregnant comes with a lot of symptoms, some are actually good, like bigger boobs, & thicker hair! I hope my lists didn't scare any of you away from the idea of getting pregnant! But helped you to understand some of the things your body MIGHT go through! It's truly amazing how God created us! We go through so many physical & hormonal changes while pregnant, women are amazing. You can't expect every day to be perfect & comfortable while you're housing a human. But the experience as a whole, it truly is so beautiful & totally worth it. Seems so cliche to say but, I would do it all again for my sons. 

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Pregnancy Weight Gain (Updated 5/9/18)

My battle since I was a child was my weight. I've always been overweight, nothing new there. The battle to maintain a healthy weight gain during pregnancy is a whole new ball game. Especially when you're overweight already.

My first pregnancy I started at 208 lbs. Found out I was pregnant Nov 2015 By Jan, 2016 I weighed the below:

So that was 10 months in, with a 6 lb weight gain, not bad. But by May I was 247 lbs:

I finally delivered Aug. 9, 2016 So I surely broke the 250 lb mark. 45 lb weight gain. No thanks! Not this time!!!

So I'm sticking to a Low-Carb diet. As much as humanly possible, those sugar cravings are a killer sometimes, trying to fill them with fruit. Going to the gym & do at-home workouts as much as my body will allow. Here's my progress So far:

I was very happy when I got on the scale this morning only a 1 lb weight gain in 3 weeks!! I was expecting more because I've been slacking. But Last week I regained focus on my nutrition even though I didn't make it to gym, I made sure I ate right. And it paid off!

Update: 1/11/18

I'm up to 215 lbs. which means a total weight gain of 10 lbs. so far! Being that I'm 21 weeks as of today, my appetite has increased, and my energy has decreased the past few days I am happy with this, 4 lbs. in 4 weeks. I am still trying my hardest to stick to low-carb & my goal this week has been to up my water intake. So far so good. Now if my 1st trimester sleepiness would go away, I could get some movement going.

Update 2/3/18

I'm up to 216 lbs. at 24 weeks, total weight gain of 11 lbs. & I'm VERY glad with that. It's funny I took this picture on the 2nd, earlier that week I weighed and I was 220 lbs. purely bloated from carbs. Me & the Beautiful Carbs do not get along, although I love them so!! But after a few days of cutting carbs & drinking enough water that bloat was gone! I haven't been able to workout as good as I have wanted to due to horrible headaches & pelvic pain. But I'm getting 2 or 3 good workouts in a week, still trying to listen to my body. I started going to get pool gym, and that does feel quite wonderful!

Update: 3/1/18

Let the weight gain begin! Since the last post I've gained 5 lbs! My belly has got a lot bigger here lately, so hopefully it's all going to little man! I am fine with this! This means a total weight gain of 16 lbs this whole pregnancy! 3 months left to go! I cannot believe I am in my third trimester now. It's going to fly by! This is when you gain the most of your weight, because the baby is putting on getting bigger, fatter, longer, stronger! As long as he's growing healthy I'm a happy Momma! I have had some days where I've been so hungry it feels like I could eat everything in the kitchen! I am battling this by stuffing my face with fruits and fresh veggies with hummus. It has helped so much keeping healthy quick snacks around the house. Although the kids Cap'n Crunch is really calling my name sometimes, but I haven't gave in to that sugary mess! I am still doing whatever workouts my pelvis & hips are allowing. Which isn't much these days. That's why nutrition is so important! Remember to subscribe so you can get an alert, I'll be back to update with the next 4 week weight gain in April!

3/29/18

I didn't even realize 4 more weeks had passed! That really flew by! So today I hit 32 weeks pregnant, and I've gained another 5 lbs. Not surprised, third trimester is when baby boy packs on the weight. Hopefully it's all gonna be leaving when he does! But I'll be honest it's been harder to be stayed focused on healthy eating here lately. I have been craving sweets. Ice Cream is my bestie. I had about 2 weeks of bad eating, and I snapped back to reality this week. I've done really well since Monday. I post my calorie intake & macros on my Instagram story every night. Today I'm struggling with indigestion so eating light & eat is not a problem at all. Went grocery shopping today and loaded up on fruits & veggies. I hope the next weigh in at 36 weeks won't be another 5lbs. But if it is, he'll be worth it. Total weight gain thus far: 21 lbs. much better than this time last pregnancy.

4/19/18

I decided to update today because on 5/18/18 I'll be delivering via C-section unless he decides to pop out early! I hit 35 weeks today! I was 226 lbs. last weigh-in, up to 230 lbs. this morning. I won't make excuses I'm not eating like a crazy lady, but it's not always the healthiest choices. But it's not an everyday binge fest. I've done better than the last weigh-in with food, I've had a lot more salads, and fruits, with the side of pizza and nachos here & there!!! 4 lbs. isn't too bad, I'm glad it's not more! Pregnancy cravings are a struggle! So I've officially met my 25 pound weight gain goal for this pregnancy. I don't want to gain a pound past that, but that's not realistic since he's packing on fat still. What I can do is take the food day by day & be as healthy as possible with it. I have been active, walking a couple times a week & doing some light weight workouts. I really feel like doing workouts when my body allows it, has helped me tremendously this pregnancy! Also, chasing the toddler really helps the step count for the day! I will Update for the last time at 38 weeks, then I'll be getting ready to deliver my boy! I've had a few folks commenting on how I'm "all belly," carrying really well & didn't gain much. Makes me feel good because that was the goal I was working towards!

This is the final update for this part of my pregnancy journey. Because next Friday, my son will be in my arms! As you can see this from April 9th until today I've gained the most at once that I have my whole pregnancy! My appetite has been insane! So glad it wasn't like this the entire pregnancy! There are some nights I eat dinner, and an hour later my stomach is growling, hard & loud like I haven't ate all day! The third trimester is also when the baby packs on the last of his fat. So hopefully, most of these 6 lbs. gained some of that went to him! I started this pregnancy around 206 lbs. (you can see in the beginning of post). I'm ending at 236 lbs. which means a total weight gain this pregnancy of 30 lbs. So I'm 5 lbs. over my 25 lb. goal. I can live with that! I'm actually quite proud of myself I stayed pretty consistent this entire pregnancy, and even though there were some splurges I would bounce back to healthier eating. I will be back Post-partum with a new blog to share with y'all my Baby Weight-loss journey. The picture below is from my Maternity photos with my first son, and my new ones from last week. The differences I see make me very happy! I did it! I got through a pregnancy without eating everything insight and losing my nutritional wits! 

Please check back because I will be updating this blog post with my progress every few weeks!

You can also follow my journey on Instagram with daily updates of both my little guys!

Kiss your Mom

Aug 4, 2015 was the absolute worst day of my life. A call was made to me early that Tuesday morning that at my mom's home the ambulance and police were there, and that I need to come ASAP because something is going on. My mom suffered from Epilepsy & heart issues. This wasn't the first time I got a call like this. But I felt something was different. My husband rushed to my job to get me, and we flew down the highway towards My mother's house, which was 1 1/2 hours away. The calls kept coming, worried family members, neighbors. I couldn't get a hold of my father. I knew something was horribly wrong this time.

When I finally got my Dad on the phone, he said two words that crushed my entire existence. "She's gone."

I will never forget the tone of his voice. How the earth went quiet in that moment. My reaction. My husband's reaction. Time literally stood still. My mother, my best friend, gone? My heart was and still is, and always will be crushed until I kiss her cheek again.

I can replay every single second of that day, and the days that followed as if they just happened 5 minutes ago. Sounds, sights, how my body felt like it was going to split in two. The faces and emotions of my loved ones. Everything happening so fast, and so surreal.

We were not meant to handle death.

Now here I am, a mother myself, to a 9 month old boy. Everyday I am amazed by him and the things he does. Motherhood is a journey, an amazing one full of ups & downs, & I'm just getting started. Oh how I never in a million years thought I'd experience this without my mother's help, or advice. It makes me miss her a billion times more. Also knowing she won't get to see his beautiful face for quite some time, it's depressing, no other way to describe it. Just purely depressing.  But I do know the day she finally does meet him, she will instantly be in love.

Everything he does makes me wonder if I did that as a baby with my mom, and how she handled it. Mom rocked back and forth all the time. I catch myself doing it to rock my son to sleep, is that why Mom did, and it became a habit she couldn't break? Every time I catch myself rocking I can't help but to smile & wonder, and fight the tears. Did I wear her out the way he wears me out? Did I cling to her & look for her in a crowd the way he does me? Did I cry every time she walked away? Did I fight naps like he does? I have a million questions, I yearn so badly to call or text her to hear her answers.

Motherhood is hard, not having your mother's support that only she can give you, makes it a lot harder. I have family that loves me & my son, & they have helped me & will continue to do so. But there will always be a void no one can fill but her.

Being a mom now has made me love & appreciate her even more. She was a wonderful mother. I hope to be like her.

Never take your mothers for granted. Thank them for their hard work. Kiss them. Hug them. Love them endlessly. Because they did all that and a ton more for you. As soon as I see my mom in the resurrection, after hugging her so hard, I will be letting her know just how thankful I am for the hard work she put into making me the woman I am today. Until then I'll lean on & absorb the strength God & my family gives me.

For information about the Resurrection hope I so strongly believe in please visit: JW.org