Working Momma

This is my final night as a SAHM. 

I have added a part time job to my Mom life.

Thankfully I found a job that’ll work with my schedule. The beauty of it is, I can still stay home with my boys during the day!

I’ll be working when hubby comes home and only a couple nights a week.

I am a mess of emotions about it!!! I haven’t worked in 3 years! I stopped work during my last trimester my first pregnancy.

I am glad to be able to get out the house and focus on something other than wiping butts & fetching snacks. (I know I do way more than that, but sometimes it feels like that’s all I accomplish in a day). Some more adult interaction definitely is welcomed. It’ll also feel good knowing I’m contributing financially to the family again as well. It was a hard adjustment for me to stop working (outside the house) all together, because I’ve worked since I was 18! I’ve always had an income.

It’s going to be weird until I get my feel of things. Especially having to pump breast milk at work. But I’ll figure it all out (just like every other mother who’s working & pumping). It’s going to be a new journey balancing motherhood with a job. During the days will be as they are now. But sprinkle in a 5-6 hour work day a few times a week. I am already a walking Mombie... so this is going to be interesting! I’m still young-ish & there’s always more caffeine that can be implemented. 😆 All in all I’m excited to start working again & hey, who doesn’t love extra money?!

I will be trying to keep up with the Blog for sure! I still have a lot to fill you in on. Like how horribly my C-section recovery went, & we bought a house! Also, don’t think I’ve forgot to update you on the struggle of my weight loss. But we really did misplace the bathroom scale when we moved & I literally keep forgetting to buy a new one! (I blame Mom-brain!)  As soon as I do an update is on the way! 

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to follow my Instagram for daily updates!

LavenderSun Co Review!

When it come to shopping for clothes for my boys, I’m a very practical Momma. I want my sons to look fashionable but let’s be real, I’m not paying a fortune for something they’re going to outgrow within a few months! Even if it can be passed down brother to brother! I’m a Stay-at-home Momma on a budget, every purchase has to be a good one! So a romper that costs $30 won’t be happening I don’t care how cute or original it is, I rarely spend that much on stuff for myself & I wear clothes until they fall apart!

I usually shop in store, just so I can feel the fabric & see the quality. Usually comes out cheaper as well, not having to pay shipping & waiting an eternity for it to arrive. Sometimes  online shopping is definitely more convenient, especially when you have to get a newborn & toddler dressed and ready to go out. Exhausting task that is.

When it comes to lounge or play clothes for the boys I will go to department stores and snag some Garanimals or Carters brands for them to wear. I’m simple. But we have our weekly religious meetings & conventions & for these my boys have GOT to look cute! I have been finding awesome deals in-store at Burlington for little suits. Online I haven’t found much that wasn’t way overpriced for their age group, until I came across LavenderSun's Instagram! The prices are AWESOME! So I had to order a piece to test them out! 

Do you see how stinkin’ cute this suit is?!?! Yes, those are Dinosaurs!! We LOVE suspenders on our boys! The cuteness is too real! And $17.95 for a 2-piece suit is an awesome deal! The fabric is a light, breathable cotton blend & it’s very well made! I can’t wait to see my son wear this at our next Convention in July! I have confidence his little bro will be able to make good use out of it as well in the future!

I'm highly pleased & will be ordering from them quite often, especially for their suits! Their clothing matches my wants & needs! Affordability, Durability & they’re Adorable! The orders can take 12-20 days to ship to the US so keep that in mind while ordering. I don’t mind the wait for a great product! Also the shipping is F-R-E-E worldwide! Love me a good deal!

Of course being a Mom of two young boys who can’t have a say-so on what I dress them in yet... I want them to be adorable as long as possible! Before all they want to wear is sweatpants & sneakers! It is so hard to find cute clothes for boys, especially in stores. The girls sections are even always a lot larger than the boys. Do retailers not think we want our boys to be cute when they’re young too? I do! That was another thing that drew me to Lavendersun, they have some really unique, stylish clothing for boys which was refreshing to see & there’s a lot to choose from! I’m in love with all the Star Wars onesies! Go check them out for your kids! You won't be disappointed!

Monday with my Toddler

I am a creature of habit. Mondays are my Cleaning days. The weekends are hectic, and everyone is home making their own individual messes. So Monday is when I try to conquer the chaos. It'd be easier if cleaning was my only focus, I'd be done within a few hours in the morning then have the rest of the day to binge Netflix & become one with my couch. In reality my cleaning is intertwined with keeping the Munchkin entertained, safe, fed, and happy. 

Here's the breakdown of how my typical stay-at-home Monday's go.

8 a.m. or a little before, Baby boy wakes up. He is always happy to see Mommy first thing in the morning & is usually a very happy guy in the mornings! Which makes life a little easier before Momma's Coffee (if I even get any).

We get his diaper changed, he tells me a story about his dreams, face & hands wiped off (drooler). Then we do our spiritual routine. We watch a few videos that teach young kids good values & morals. They're awesome and he LOVES them! (you can check them out here).  Then we pray together. This is our every morning routine, not just Monday!

8:30 am It's breakfast time! Which has become quite the task lately since someone has started getting super picky! I'm not the type of mom who makes the perfect balanced breakfasts you see online. I go with what's easy & what works. For now that's usually a pancake with peanut butter on it and a glass full of almond milk. While he's eating I start a load of laundry, and get the kitchen tidy. Once he's done eating I clean all the syrup off of him.

9:00-9:15 am After breakfast the first thing he wants to do is run to the TV to watch his PJ Masks. If it were up to him, he would surely be watching it from sun up to sun down!

But Momma can't let that happen! He has to exercise that little brain! Now, our living room is connected to kitchen, so after he's done eating, I let him do his own thing while watching Mickey Mouse Club House (at least they count and do colors) or something while I finish up the kitchen & Grab myself some breakfast. 

9:45ish am Time for some sort of learning activity. 

He loves his books, he'll sit and go through them "reading" and looking at the pictures for quite a while! I'm glad, hope this never changes! When he finds his favorite he'll bring it to you to read to read to him! There of course are TONS of ideas on Pinterest for toddler activites. I've pinned quite a few ideas. So far most he's loved, but he's not into the messy stuff, paint, play-doh etc... 

While he keeps himself busy for a few I sweep the floors, eat breakfast (Finally) and continue with laundry.

11:00 Little man starts whining for a snack. Like clock work!

I try to rest for a few while he snacks, I'm 7 months pregnant and need a break. Plus this is my coffee/tea time! 

12:00 I usually give in to the PJ Mask at this time, because I need to finish folding laundry, and mop the floors. If that's done by now, then it's time for me to try to do some sort of workout. So I let him have his alone time in his room with his 6yr old Crime Fighters. If I'm working out I have to put him in his playpen for him to watch so I can get 30 mins. of uninterrupted time to workout, or else he's whining on me while I try to workout, or running around me dropping death trap trails of toys around. He is usually still snacking at this time, so we do a late lunch.

1:00 NAP TIME! *does Momma dance* Such an awesome time I think! Him, not so much! For Momma a 10-2o min. nap fighting session usually happens. Like today, he was surely tired... It was about 1:18 today when I got him and sat down with him to get him into nap mode. Which consist of me holding him and begging him to chill. 

He whined for a bit. I changed him, let him have a fruit pouch, then took him to his crib. Whining continued, but for about 3 mins. until he passed out. Which is a record! Now, this he only does to me, because if Daddy lays him down, he just goes to sleep, no fight! It's crazy, he does me so wrong! When he's napping I rest & finish laundry (yes, laundry is an all day task, washing, drying, crying cause it never ends, folding, & putting it all away).

2:30-3 Lunch! Nothing fancy, usually some sort of chicken, if he'll eat it today... & a  pouch so I can get some veggies into his little body. Today lunch was a disaster. When he woke up from his nap he was a Grouch. His nap lasted from 1:25-3. He was crying real tears for some reason... My guess, he's still sleepy, do you think he'd go back to sleep? Of course not! Soe he cuddled on me for a while, didn't want his nuggets, didn't want his juice. Crying continued. Finally he ate his nuggets, while sitting on my lap. Some days, you got to go with what works. My cleaning is usually done by now, except the folded laundry staring at me waiting to be put up. So after his lunch that happens (I eat lunch while he naps). 

3-6 He does his own thing, making a mess playing with blocks, or some toy in his room. Or in the living room attacking his basket of toys. I try to get off my feet again. Not always easy, soon as Momma actually gets to sit down on the couch, he's usually crawling all over me like I'm a jungle gym. Not very comfortable these days with the 7 month old in my womb. So after about 30 mins of that and me getting annoyed with it, I go prep dinner. I also got the bills & budget for the pay period set up today. Daddy comes home around 5 (YAY! now I get a REAL break! because by now I am in true MOMBIE mode, looking like an exhausted bum. SO sexy for hubby!)

I forgot to mention cleaning up his messes throughout the day. This is the 2nd time today he's pulled all his clothes out the dresser. Happens a few times a week. I'm about to duct tape it shut!

6 pm is Dinner time for Toddler. We eat with him usually, sometimes later. After dinner he plays more with Daddy. Because I'm escaping to the shower! 

8 pm is BED TIME!!! He sleeps through the whole night thankfully! Me, not so much these days baby boy is growing so much making me more uncomfortable, plus fighting leg cramps or indigestion. But thankfully we both get what we need to face the next day!

The rest of the week keeping him entertained, safe, fed, and happy is top priority. But we get out of the house, to the park, library, to the grandparents, or whatever else we can find to do with ourselves! It is a lot and some days can be overwhelming. Especially if He's not in a good mood. Or I'm not feeling good from pregnancy. But we get it done, every single day! This all may sound very easy to some, or exhausting to others. For me now, it's normal & easy. When the new baby is here. I'm sure it'll be total chaos for a while until we all get on a united routine. So I'll enjoy this little bit of calm, if you can call it that, for now!

Be sure to follow my Instagram for daily updates!

Anatomy Scan & Gender Reveal!

Yesterday we went to the doctor to do my anatomy ultrasound. We had been looking forward to this appointment for weeks! Mainly because you finally get to find out the sex of the baby, IF the baby cooperates for the Ultrasound Tech.

But more importantly, you get to see all the little parts of your growing baby & see if they're all working properly. This makes me a nervous wreck! Moms minds always think the worst. At least mine does! 

For a more in depth idea of what little parts I was referring too this list I found at Baby Med gives a perfect breakdown:

The following fetal parts are checked during the anatomy ultrasound:

• Face
• Brain (ventricles, choroid plexus, mid-brain, posterior fossa, cerebellum, cisterna magna, measurements of anterior and posterior horns of lateral ventricles)
• Skull (shape, integrity, BPD and HC measurements)
• Neck (nuchal fold thickness)
• Spine
• Heart (rate, rhythm, 4-chamber views, outflow tract)
• Thorax (shape, lungs, diaphragm)
• Abdomen (stomach, kidneys, liver, bladder, wall, umbilicus, cord, abdominal circumference AC)
• Limbs (femur, tibia, fibula, humerus, radius, ulna, hands, feet femur length FL)
• Genitals (gender, abnormality)
• Cervix (length and opening)

Our ultrasound tech was very nice & thorough. She described it as visually slicing through the baby, as if it were cake, to see all the different parts. It is so awesome you get to see the lobes of the brain, the chambers of the hearts, the lungs, diaphragm & everything listed above. It is so amazing to see on the screen. It's even more amazing & enjoyable when you have a tech that is nice & explains to you everything you're seeing. I was definitely moved to tears!

That's a full body shot, all curled up 😍

So once everything is done & the Tech had all the info she needed, she obliged (because they don't have to... they're there to find what's in that list above, not obligated to figure out the sex) to try to get a shot of the genitals for us. With Jacen he was so stubborn, he wouldn't spread 'em at all for the first ultrasound, so we had to go back again to see. With this baby it had it's little legs curled up too, but the Tech played around with my belly some and had me lay on my side, and we got to see just what we needed...

There's no denying what that is!!! I am officially a Boy Mom x2! Hubby just knew that this was a little girl since my pregnancy has been so different. Last pregnancy I knew without a doubt I was having a boy, this time I was clueless. We were hoping for a little princess, especially daddy, and big sis, she actually cried, poor thing is outnumbered. But we got us another Prince! At he end of the day we're just so thankful he's healthy and growing right the way he's supposed to! Couldn't be anymore thankful!

Now... to figure out what to name the Lil' Peanut!

One thing about having another baby of the same gender so close together is we won't need much for this baby, just essentials. Big Bro has plenty to share! They're bond is gonna be unbreakable growing up together! At first I was so nervous! "How am I gonna do this, two kids this close in age?!?!"... "Jacen is gonna be so jealous! He's too young to understand!"... But now I'm excited and ready for the challenge (remind me I said that when I'm ready to pull my hair our from exhaustion). I cannot wait to meet this little guy & see him and his brother playing & exploring together. They're gonna be amazing together! My Boys!

  

Be sure to subscribe so you can receive email updates when I post.

Also you can get daily visuals on my Instagram

Lost in Motherhood

Motherhood is a beautiful blessing. I cherish every single moment that I am able to share with my kids. I am very thankful for the opportunity to be able to be the one to stay home & raise them.

But Truth Moment: Some days it feels like I have completely lost myself, Where has April gone?

Today was surely one of those days. I haven't left the house since Monday, it's Thursday... The walls really closed in today. Of course I could get out and go for a walk or take little man to the park, but  I'm BEYOND exhausted! I'm keeping the toddler alive, and growing a new human at the same time. I'm tired. The past few days I have felt like I'm back in the first trimester, I would literally have not got out the bed if it wasn't for the needs of my son. Then here comes the guilt, he's stuck in the house with me, we do flash cards and he brings me multiple books to read all day, but the rest of the time he's rotting his brain out to Paw Patrol or Finding Dory for the 500th time. I feel like a failure to him on days like this. I want him to be outside exploring, or if we're stuck in the house to be making a mess with play-doh and paint, or something constructive.

There's only so much I can do when my body is begging me to lay down. 

Before motherhood took over, I was a Nail-tech, working at spas, pampering others & getting pampered. Having adult conversations, albeit it most was them bragging about the things they had, but hey, it was another adult. I made them feel brand new with some seriously cute nails.

Something I enjoyed to do very much. But now, I don't have the time, I barely do my own anymore. Feels like I'm wasting my talent. I hope to get back into it one day.

We decided when I got pregnant that due to our finances it just made since for me to stay at home, and once again, YES I am very thankful for this. I couldn't imagine dropping my son off at day care, with strangers. When he starts school I'm sure I'll be THAT mom who's crying her eyes out in the car. This was the best for us, and that's why I am doing it. It is a HARD JOB! Everything about being a SAHM is still new to me. It's still an adjustment. Even 17 months into the role.  There's no clocking out. No Sick days. No Vacation. When I think I got it down pat, life laughs at me. In May I'll have a toddler, a newborn, a 7 & 11 year old up in this house with me! I honestly don't think there is enough caffeine to get me through the days! 

The new April is a mom 110% of the time 365 days of the year.

I may have lost the more independent, working, nail-artist April, but what have I gained? 

The Love of my son, the pure unconditional love. I have watched him grow each and everyday, stronger & smarter. I haven't missed a single milestone! That assures me that I'm not failing him after all. He's happy & healthy. Tomorrow is a new day. As long as he is smiling, I'm doing my job well! 

Over the next few years I'm sure that I'll adjust better into this Motherhood thing. No Mom is perfect, we are our worst critics. It's OK to get tired. To get frustrated. To be mentally & Physically drained, you will always bounce back, why? Because those big brown eyes (in my case) are depending on you to brighten their day & you wouldn't have it any other way.

Please Subscribe.

Also follow me on Instagram (www.instagram.com/momma.ape) for daily updates.

Pregnancy Weight Gain (Updated 5/9/18)

My battle since I was a child was my weight. I've always been overweight, nothing new there. The battle to maintain a healthy weight gain during pregnancy is a whole new ball game. Especially when you're overweight already.

My first pregnancy I started at 208 lbs. Found out I was pregnant Nov 2015 By Jan, 2016 I weighed the below:

So that was 10 months in, with a 6 lb weight gain, not bad. But by May I was 247 lbs:

I finally delivered Aug. 9, 2016 So I surely broke the 250 lb mark. 45 lb weight gain. No thanks! Not this time!!!

So I'm sticking to a Low-Carb diet. As much as humanly possible, those sugar cravings are a killer sometimes, trying to fill them with fruit. Going to the gym & do at-home workouts as much as my body will allow. Here's my progress So far:

I was very happy when I got on the scale this morning only a 1 lb weight gain in 3 weeks!! I was expecting more because I've been slacking. But Last week I regained focus on my nutrition even though I didn't make it to gym, I made sure I ate right. And it paid off!

Update: 1/11/18

I'm up to 215 lbs. which means a total weight gain of 10 lbs. so far! Being that I'm 21 weeks as of today, my appetite has increased, and my energy has decreased the past few days I am happy with this, 4 lbs. in 4 weeks. I am still trying my hardest to stick to low-carb & my goal this week has been to up my water intake. So far so good. Now if my 1st trimester sleepiness would go away, I could get some movement going.

Update 2/3/18

I'm up to 216 lbs. at 24 weeks, total weight gain of 11 lbs. & I'm VERY glad with that. It's funny I took this picture on the 2nd, earlier that week I weighed and I was 220 lbs. purely bloated from carbs. Me & the Beautiful Carbs do not get along, although I love them so!! But after a few days of cutting carbs & drinking enough water that bloat was gone! I haven't been able to workout as good as I have wanted to due to horrible headaches & pelvic pain. But I'm getting 2 or 3 good workouts in a week, still trying to listen to my body. I started going to get pool gym, and that does feel quite wonderful!

Update: 3/1/18

Let the weight gain begin! Since the last post I've gained 5 lbs! My belly has got a lot bigger here lately, so hopefully it's all going to little man! I am fine with this! This means a total weight gain of 16 lbs this whole pregnancy! 3 months left to go! I cannot believe I am in my third trimester now. It's going to fly by! This is when you gain the most of your weight, because the baby is putting on getting bigger, fatter, longer, stronger! As long as he's growing healthy I'm a happy Momma! I have had some days where I've been so hungry it feels like I could eat everything in the kitchen! I am battling this by stuffing my face with fruits and fresh veggies with hummus. It has helped so much keeping healthy quick snacks around the house. Although the kids Cap'n Crunch is really calling my name sometimes, but I haven't gave in to that sugary mess! I am still doing whatever workouts my pelvis & hips are allowing. Which isn't much these days. That's why nutrition is so important! Remember to subscribe so you can get an alert, I'll be back to update with the next 4 week weight gain in April!

3/29/18

I didn't even realize 4 more weeks had passed! That really flew by! So today I hit 32 weeks pregnant, and I've gained another 5 lbs. Not surprised, third trimester is when baby boy packs on the weight. Hopefully it's all gonna be leaving when he does! But I'll be honest it's been harder to be stayed focused on healthy eating here lately. I have been craving sweets. Ice Cream is my bestie. I had about 2 weeks of bad eating, and I snapped back to reality this week. I've done really well since Monday. I post my calorie intake & macros on my Instagram story every night. Today I'm struggling with indigestion so eating light & eat is not a problem at all. Went grocery shopping today and loaded up on fruits & veggies. I hope the next weigh in at 36 weeks won't be another 5lbs. But if it is, he'll be worth it. Total weight gain thus far: 21 lbs. much better than this time last pregnancy.

4/19/18

I decided to update today because on 5/18/18 I'll be delivering via C-section unless he decides to pop out early! I hit 35 weeks today! I was 226 lbs. last weigh-in, up to 230 lbs. this morning. I won't make excuses I'm not eating like a crazy lady, but it's not always the healthiest choices. But it's not an everyday binge fest. I've done better than the last weigh-in with food, I've had a lot more salads, and fruits, with the side of pizza and nachos here & there!!! 4 lbs. isn't too bad, I'm glad it's not more! Pregnancy cravings are a struggle! So I've officially met my 25 pound weight gain goal for this pregnancy. I don't want to gain a pound past that, but that's not realistic since he's packing on fat still. What I can do is take the food day by day & be as healthy as possible with it. I have been active, walking a couple times a week & doing some light weight workouts. I really feel like doing workouts when my body allows it, has helped me tremendously this pregnancy! Also, chasing the toddler really helps the step count for the day! I will Update for the last time at 38 weeks, then I'll be getting ready to deliver my boy! I've had a few folks commenting on how I'm "all belly," carrying really well & didn't gain much. Makes me feel good because that was the goal I was working towards!

This is the final update for this part of my pregnancy journey. Because next Friday, my son will be in my arms! As you can see this from April 9th until today I've gained the most at once that I have my whole pregnancy! My appetite has been insane! So glad it wasn't like this the entire pregnancy! There are some nights I eat dinner, and an hour later my stomach is growling, hard & loud like I haven't ate all day! The third trimester is also when the baby packs on the last of his fat. So hopefully, most of these 6 lbs. gained some of that went to him! I started this pregnancy around 206 lbs. (you can see in the beginning of post). I'm ending at 236 lbs. which means a total weight gain this pregnancy of 30 lbs. So I'm 5 lbs. over my 25 lb. goal. I can live with that! I'm actually quite proud of myself I stayed pretty consistent this entire pregnancy, and even though there were some splurges I would bounce back to healthier eating. I will be back Post-partum with a new blog to share with y'all my Baby Weight-loss journey. The picture below is from my Maternity photos with my first son, and my new ones from last week. The differences I see make me very happy! I did it! I got through a pregnancy without eating everything insight and losing my nutritional wits! 

Please check back because I will be updating this blog post with my progress every few weeks!

You can also follow my journey on Instagram with daily updates of both my little guys!

Kiss your Mom

Aug 4, 2015 was the absolute worst day of my life. A call was made to me early that Tuesday morning that at my mom's home the ambulance and police were there, and that I need to come ASAP because something is going on. My mom suffered from Epilepsy & heart issues. This wasn't the first time I got a call like this. But I felt something was different. My husband rushed to my job to get me, and we flew down the highway towards My mother's house, which was 1 1/2 hours away. The calls kept coming, worried family members, neighbors. I couldn't get a hold of my father. I knew something was horribly wrong this time.

When I finally got my Dad on the phone, he said two words that crushed my entire existence. "She's gone."

I will never forget the tone of his voice. How the earth went quiet in that moment. My reaction. My husband's reaction. Time literally stood still. My mother, my best friend, gone? My heart was and still is, and always will be crushed until I kiss her cheek again.

I can replay every single second of that day, and the days that followed as if they just happened 5 minutes ago. Sounds, sights, how my body felt like it was going to split in two. The faces and emotions of my loved ones. Everything happening so fast, and so surreal.

We were not meant to handle death.

Now here I am, a mother myself, to a 9 month old boy. Everyday I am amazed by him and the things he does. Motherhood is a journey, an amazing one full of ups & downs, & I'm just getting started. Oh how I never in a million years thought I'd experience this without my mother's help, or advice. It makes me miss her a billion times more. Also knowing she won't get to see his beautiful face for quite some time, it's depressing, no other way to describe it. Just purely depressing.  But I do know the day she finally does meet him, she will instantly be in love.

Everything he does makes me wonder if I did that as a baby with my mom, and how she handled it. Mom rocked back and forth all the time. I catch myself doing it to rock my son to sleep, is that why Mom did, and it became a habit she couldn't break? Every time I catch myself rocking I can't help but to smile & wonder, and fight the tears. Did I wear her out the way he wears me out? Did I cling to her & look for her in a crowd the way he does me? Did I cry every time she walked away? Did I fight naps like he does? I have a million questions, I yearn so badly to call or text her to hear her answers.

Motherhood is hard, not having your mother's support that only she can give you, makes it a lot harder. I have family that loves me & my son, & they have helped me & will continue to do so. But there will always be a void no one can fill but her.

Being a mom now has made me love & appreciate her even more. She was a wonderful mother. I hope to be like her.

Never take your mothers for granted. Thank them for their hard work. Kiss them. Hug them. Love them endlessly. Because they did all that and a ton more for you. As soon as I see my mom in the resurrection, after hugging her so hard, I will be letting her know just how thankful I am for the hard work she put into making me the woman I am today. Until then I'll lean on & absorb the strength God & my family gives me.

For information about the Resurrection hope I so strongly believe in please visit: JW.org

My First Pregnancy!

It all started with a Cruise. What a great time we had. Obviously!!

        We had been planning for a baby, I said it'd be so awesome if it happened on our vacation. Our cruise was Oct 10-14th and Looky looky, Nov. 18, 2015 was the day that stick showed a + and our life was about to get even more interesting!!

I had an overall easy pregnancy. No major issues. Not a lot of discomfort. I carried him for 41 weeks & 3 days, he was comfy in that womb and did not want to come out!!

 On Aug. 8th 2016 I had been scheduled to go in for a NST for the baby, and an ultrasound. The NST was fine. The hospital sent me to a different office for the Ultrasound. Mr. Jacen didn’t want to cooperate for the ultrasound. He was asleep and she needed him to wake up so she could see his lungs move as he breathed. I drank coffee, sat there a while, still he wouldn’t budge. I wasn’t worried because he has been moving fine all morning, he was even moving in the waiting room. I knew he was stubborn like his Momma, and it seemed throughout my whole pregnancy he wouldn't move when being bothered. If his daddy touched my belly, or even if I was trying to record his movement, it's like he just knew something was up and he'd be still.

The ultrasound tech had to call my midwife to tell her she wasn’t able to get the reading on his lungs, and that she tried several times. Well, back to the hospital I was sent, and we were admitted. We were not expecting that. We were all in our beach clothes (I have two "bonus" kids as well 10 year old girl & 6 year old boy) Our car was loaded with beach gear we were expecting a nice sandy day, not to be having a baby. Hubby adrenaline started rushing, he didn't even have a hospital bag packed, yes Mr. Procrastinator. So there we stood with excitement and fear rushing through our veins. This was definitely not part of my amazing Birth Plan. My midwife was there when we were admitted, I loved her we worked with her through my whole pregnancy. She had me all setup & comfy telling me the first steps we were going to try to get me to go into labor, because once again, he was super comfy and not coming out. I was only 3 CM dilated at this time. 

So first thing they did was start me on Cervadil first to see if that would kick start labor. Cervadil was actually inserted twice, why Pitocin wasn’t started first I’m not sure. But after the second Cervadil was inserted around 10pm that night, I was at 4cm dilated, still not much progress. 

 By 4 a.m. I finally learned what a contraction felt like!! (Like I said I had an easy pregnancy, never experienced a contraction until that moment). And they were ALL UP IN MY BACK!

5 a.m. the Nurse came to remove the cervadil I was at 5cm, making progress but not enough for action. August 9th was the longest day of my life. 

 9 a.m. I was completely over the contractions!! The nurses seemed to aske every time they entered the room if I wanted an epidural. Starts to sound really good when that pain hits. So, bring it on... The anesthesiologist stuck me 3 times with that monster of a needle... 3 TIMES!!!! But I surely laid there afterwards oblivious to all the other contractions, and even the fact that I was peeing in a bag. I'm perfectly ok with that decision!  

A lot of women out there have their own opinions on Epidurals. We have different opinions on ever aspect of motherhood. More power to all the mommy’s who can handle that pain, and go all natural. You might think you can as well, it was in my Birth Plan not to get one. But when you're in that moment, in that pain your mind might change like mine. If it doesn't that's great as well! We all have the same result, we gave birth!!! So don't let anyone's opinion belittle the awesomeness your body just accomplished!!

 I sure am glad I got the epidural when I did. Because to make a long story short I ended up having to have an emergency C-Section at 5p.m. I was scared to death!! That was the last thing I ever wanted. I cried, hard. Told my husband if I die that I love him and to take care of the baby, and then I cried some more. All the while hubby telling me it’ll all be ok. 

The anesthesiologist came through to pump me with more stuff. I got wheeled into the SUPER BRIGHT & SUPER COLD Operating room. The medicine they pumped me with had my arms and shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't keep them still no matter how hard I tried.

Next thing I knew, by 6:27 p.m. my beautiful baby boy was handed to me. He was healthy and gorgeous. And in that moment that is all that mattered in the world. He was perfect.

If you have any questions about how it all went down, feel free to ask in the comments!!